Spin the wheel

Lincoln City FC 1 - 1 Rochdale AFC

Journey:

By special agreement with my boss I finished at 3:30 today.

I had to explain to him that this was the year that I would be going to every game home and away - and tonight would mean a trip to Lincoln. He paused for a moment, looked over the top of his spectacles and said: 'its football - football is more important.'

Yes - this really did happen. I wasn't having another one of my now infamous 'Scrubs' style, slightly random fantasy interludes.

A frantic drive from Wigan to Rochdale and a rapid change of clothes later I was loitering somewhat suspiciously outside MacDonalds on Sandbrook Park. Why you ask? (after recovering from the fact I remained outside a MacDonalds)

Enter Mr. Turner.

After a season of patchy attendances - the force of nature that is Mr. Turner would be taking the shotgun duties for my trip to the surprisingly hill free county of Lincolnshire.

At around this point I usually have a stab at explaining the route I took. To be honest I haven't got a clue. I have now officially joined the mind-absent millions who schlep around the highway's and byway's of this fair isle glued to the little screen stuck to their windscreen. I have become a SatNav zombie. Rochdale to Lincoln with brain in neutral - scary isn't it?

I did briefly rejoin the land of the living as we drove through the charming village of Spital-in-the-Street. Both Mr. Turner and I scanned the tarmac quite closely. This may be the most bizarre and also slightly repugnant case of misrepresentation I have ever come accross.

In the gathering darkness we arrived at Sincil Bank. Special thanks to the steward who told me that we really shouldn't (wink) use the carpark (wink, wink) next to the ground - because it belongs to Playzone (wink, wink, wink) and is nothing to do with the club (wink, wink, wink, wink, wink) . Top tip Mr. Steward!

Weather:

It had been another unseasonably warm day in Gods Country and the clear skies persisted as we pressed eastwards - culminating in a slightly extravagant sunset as we homed in on Lincoln. By the time we entered Lincoln an inky night had descended. Chilly, but not disagreeable.

Food:

Cheese burger and coke £4.60. Not quite in the Accrington league - but still a bit steep - I took extra ketchup and mustard in protest. Inevitably this backfired on me - or to be precise, my sleeve.

But this was not the real food story tonight. Oh no - and, no - it is nothing to do with eel's.

Mr. Turner - remember him? - turned out to be something of a magician. Can he saw ladies in half? No. Can he levitate ladies? No. Can he produce Twix's apparently from nowhere? Yes, yes he can. Admittedly some of them were warm, melted and slightly mangled - but hey! Free Twix! Probably best not to ask where he had been concealing them though.

Ground:

I liked it. It has improved vastly since the last time I visited. The Lincoln Echo Stand does look slightly mis-scaled in comparison to the rest of the ground - but it does leave room for the rather whimsical 'Poachers Corner'. All in all, a decent ground.

Action:

Well, the Dagenham experience had been somewhat chastening - that was before the whole slimy, bottom feeder experience - after that it was just downright unpleasant. However, Dale had rallied magnificently by mid-week to see off League One opposition in the Johnstone's Paint Tin.

Perhaps this is where Dale's season would click into gear then. Let's spin the wheel...

From the Dagenham fixture, Holness came in at right back for Wiseman, Ciaran Toner joined the centre of midfield for Keltie and Lee Thorpe joined Jordan Rhodes up front.

Lincoln started the brighter of the two sides provoking a distictly agricultural challenge from McArdle on Kerr just two minutes in. Mr. Sarginson had little doubt, McArdle made little protest and recieved a yellow card for his endeavours.

OK, I thought - a clear thinking ref making his intentions known early on. We need more like this fella - I thought to myself. Shame it was McArdle who copped for it - but this would surely mean a well run game. Good on you Mr. Sarginson!

Having started better than Dale the Imps continued to press their advantage. The first twenty minutes or so were pretty much all Lincoln. This habit of starting badly is becoming a little wearing. Therefore by way of compensation Dale decided to try something a bit radical. Scoring first.

Some patient rather than incisive build up play saw the ball driven towards Adam Rundle. From fully 30 yards out Rundle smashed an audacious volley - and faster than I could take the son of our Lord's name in vain - it had beaten Burch and was in the back of the Lincoln net. 1-0 Dale!

The next few moments are slightly vague - but it seemed to involve a lot of jumping around, shouting and hugging Mr. Turner and the Playboy. That goal has got to be a candidate for league goal of the month if not the season. Awesome.

Spin, spin, spin.

Taking the lead seemed to do Dale a power of good. They suddenly looked assured and Lincoln's early threat wavered and then petered out. The closest the Imps came was what in fairness looked a half decent penalty shout. But the protests were waved away and we pulled into half time 1-0 up for only the second time this season.

Those of you who have the unpleasant distiction of being regular readers - will know I have a problem with club mascots. Even our beloved Desmond baffles me. I mean - he's a dragon. I read the Observer every week and never once have I came across a story about dragon attacks in Bamford. A master of the cross bar challenge he may be - but appropriate? I don't think so. That said - in comparison to 'The Red Imp' (Lincoln's mascot - or 'Full Body Chemical Peel Man' as I think of him) Desmond is a positive treat.

I have reported in recent weeks about the general chaos which has surrounded the half time frolics at Spotland - or - the cross bar challenge as some know it. Sadly I was in the pie queue for the duration of the reels at Sincil Bank - but I did hear the announcer's explanation of the game.

In summary the game was a combination of Scrabble, Twister, Ask The Family, Lucky Ladders and We Are The Champions - with a fake door and a football - blindfolded. Sounded riveting - really sorry I missed it.

And so back to business...

After his decisive start, Mr. Sarginson had become a cause of some concern. His decisions were - well - about as easy to predict as a roulette wheel. Both sets of players and fans were left agog at the products of the ref's assorted ruminations - in the second half he would come close to causing a civil order incident involving 4,500 people.

Spin, spin, spin.

For the majority of the half Dale were pretty much on top. Lincoln would lumber forward - the attack would be snuffed out - Rochdale would storm forward on the break. Repeat until you score.

Except they didn't.

Misplaced passes, poor decisions, a flag happy linesman and indifferent finishing meant that Dale did not further extend their lead. Still the Dale defence seemed to be fairly untroubled - notwithstanding another impassioned appeal for a penalty from the Imps - which prompted Mr. Jackson, the Imps manager to attempt to get the home fans to join him in a rendition of YMCA. Sadly Mr. Sarginson was not a fan of the Village People's work and sent him to the stand to work on his act.

But as I say - the Dale defence were in no trouble - so whilst this wouldn't be the most convincing win ever. A win it most surely would be...

Spin, spin, spin.

With around five minutes to go a moment of indecision from Dagnall resulted in a corner for Lincoln. The initial kick was dealt with but was never really cleared fully. The ball arrived at the feet of Oakes on the Imps left who delivered a cross to the Dale back post - where it found Lincoln's young centre-half Danny Hone. A finish which would shame most centre forward's followed (and probably a firmly worded letter from the centre-halves union) - Russell didn't stand a chance. 1-1. Bugger.

Pleasingly Dale didn't fold after the equaliser and generated two or three excellent chances including a point blank effort from St. Adam which regrettably he managed to guide directly at the Lincoln keeper.

However, in spite of this late flourish - 1-1 it remained.

Click - click - click - click, click, click, clickclickclick. 'No winner sir - care to play again?'
.

Summary:

Well that was a treat - scoring first - and what a cracking goal. On balance I think Dale were the better side tonight - only rampant profligacy in front of goal left the door open for Lincoln to sneak a point in the dying moments.

Whilst clearly out of position Holness' athleticism and determination allowed him to perform well. Toner looked good in the centre - and looked to be a natural partner for Jones. Oh, and that Rundle boy did OK I suppose.

I have been watching football for many years - at all kinds of levels - but never in all those years have I heard both sets of fans chanting 'You don't know what you're doing!' at the referee.

Mr. Sarginson and his team were without doubt the worst set of officials I have ever seen in action. The only scant consolation was that they were equally incompetent towards both teams. At times the game descended into farce as one improbable decision followed another.

Part way through the second half I felt pretty certain there would be in a pitch invasion (by both sets of fans) which would result in Mr. Sarginson and his merry men being found dangling from the guttering of the main stand by the back of their Y-front's.

Turner Watch:

You can't really add too much to the resume of a man who can produce Twix's at will - but as is now the tradition, I will try.

Survived me jumping on him when Rundle scored, managed to avoid going deaf as I explained to the linesman and referee where they had most recently been mistaken and complained only very rarely about the contents of my I-Pod on the way there or on the way back. A quality performance.

10/10/08