Rotherham United FC 2 - 1 Rochdale AFC
Journey
09:00 hrs, Siddall Moor playing fields. Clarence Jnrs. vs. Littleborough Yellows - pre-season friendly.
Along with Mr. Keane and Mr. Rigby, this morning finds me loitering on the touchline at Siddall Moor to view the culmination of The Yellows pre-season program. After last seasons thrilling promotion campaign - great things were expected this morning.
Sadly, things didn't really go to plan. Clarence's greater physical presence and incisive finishing through their gazelle-like number 7 consigned The Yellows to a 4-0 defeat. But for the heroics of Keane jnr in the Littleborough goal the damage could have been significantly worse.
More on the Mighty Yellows as their season unfolds...
As well as covering The Yellows promotion season, I managed to squeeze in every single Rochdale league fixture. On that Odyssey I was accompanied by Jane - my Sat Nav. You will notice that I didn't say 'faithful Sat Nav'. That is because 'she' went out of her way to make my quest very nearly impossible. She was the worst, most wilful, contrary, maddening piece of technology I have ever purchased - every journey was a complete lottery, getting to a game was marked by joy and relief in equal measure. You will note however that I said 'was'. That is because she is dead.
I tried an experimental test run on Saturday - nothing, wouldn't even start up. I tried hooking her up to Tom-Tom central for a software update. Still nothing. Ding-dong the witch is dead.
Good riddance to bad rubbish I say. However, I am sure she was cackling in her watery grave (I gave her a Viking burial in the canal, sort of), because once again she had mucked up my travel plans. Just how do you get to the Don Valley Stadium without Sat Nav? For that matter - how do you get anywhere without Sat Nav these days?
However, help was at hand. Mr. Keane agreed to lend me his Sat Nav . His Sat Nav is called Mary - and she is Irish. After about an hour of 'torning layft noy' and 'torning royt at the roynd aboyt' - followed by thirty extra minutes caused by my not paying attention, missing a turning and getting caught up in roadworks near Rotherham. I finally arrived in Sheffield - to watch Rotherham...
It appears that Mr. Ashworth's dark influence reaches across the Pennine's. My press pass was addressed to - Mr. Edam-Maughan. I wasn't that bothered - it's only game four and he is already pretty much out of ideas. I can wait this out.
Weather
Overcast, hot, humid and inundated with wasps.
Food
Being on the late side, I had to dash past the pie stand - casting a wistful backward glance as I went. It was probably for the best after my pie-a-thon on Tuesday night. I did however manage to get a free thimble of tea from the media lounge* at half-time.
*Slightly smaller than a veal crate.
Ground
Don Valley Stadium. World Student Games etc, etc. One covered stand where both sets of fans were housed (400+ Dale) - the balance being uncovered seats arrange round an eight lane running track.
Don Valley is actually quite a nice stadium - for athletics. For football it means that the fans are miles from the pitch and any attempt to generate a bit of atmosphere is defeated by the wide running track and the open sides. Mind you, the yellow painted stachions that support the fabric roof do make it look slightly like the Corkscrew at Alton Towers - scant consolation I suppose.
However, the stadium was not the talking point today. It was the pitch. Holier than thou, beat combo, U2, had played a gig at Don Valley last Thursday night (hence the shift to a Sunday kick-off). During which almost half of the grass had been turned into a yellow and brown abomination (leave a paddling pool on your lawn for a week - and U2 can achieve that authentic Don Valley look).
On a pitch of two halves and amid rumours of nails and glass on the surface - Mr. Sutton decided the game could go ahead.
News
In the wee small hours of Saturday morning a heavily armed convoy crawled into the car park at Spotland. As black clad man waved automatic weapons around and said 'hut!' and 'roger!' a number of boxes were smuggled into the club shop. The shirts have arrived!
I saw Playboy Dan covertly observing procedings amidst the away fans and sporting an example of the new, purple away shirt. It looked surprisingly stylish - but Playboy just has that knack with clothes. Dale's bid to empty Oldham's reserve squad continues with the loan signing of Chris O'Grady. At 6' 3" the well travelled young striker seems to have been brought in to fill the Lee Thorpe shaped hole left by - Lee Thorpe. In an exclusive interview with May Contain Football, Chris said: 'I am not the new Lee Thorpe', but went on to ask, 'do you know why there is a packet of Bic razors in my training kit?'.*
*Interview may be completely made up.
Action
Your team for today:
GK: Arthur
Def: Flynn, Stanton, Dawson, Kennedy(T)
Mid: Thompson, Kennedy(J), Jones, Buckley
For: Dagnall, O'Grady
Bench: Edwards, Wiseman, Holness, Rundle, Stephens, Spencer, Shaw
Following Cheltenham's late, late show on Tuesday evening changes seemed likely. Stanton back in for Holness, Buckley slotting in at left midfield and Chris 'definitely not Lee Thorpe' O'Grady making his Dale debut alongside Dagnall.
The result on Tuesday was a shocking disappointment - Dale could and should have won, at the very least a draw would have been an acceptable return for the performance. However, Holness' brief lapse of concentration had allowed the League Two branch of Age Concern to steal a late and unlikely winner for the Robins. Very disappointing indeed.
Today wasn't going to be easy either - Rotherham had started their season well and the aquisition of Mrs. LeFondre's little boy from Rochdale meant that Dale would have their hands full this afternoon. Rotherham sized Dale up for a few minutes - and then went for the throat. Tom Pope conjouring up two early efforts - thankfully straight at Arthur - followed by a raking shot which had Arthur at full stretch to divert it away from danger.
Dale's defence were at 6's and 7's as Pope and LeFondre ran riot. Alfie producing a trademark roll off Kennedy(T) only to fire over the bar. The depth of Dale's defensive troubles became very clear when Arthur mis-cued a clearance straight at Alfie who easily squirmed free of Dawson and poked the ball into the net - Dale were only spared by the waving stick of the linesman who felt LeFondre had handled the ball. He hadn't. It was a huge let off.
For their part Dale had responded with a couple of efforts from Buckley both of which drifted wide and a decent shot from Dagnall which Warrington gathered at the second or third attempt. But the facts were that it was pretty well all Rotherham - Dale were hanging on - just.
As half time loomed it seemed that perhaps Dale had weathered the storm. But a needless and ill judged challenge from Stanton on Warne on the touchline, adjacent to the edge of the eighteen yard box gave The Millers a free kick and Stanton a yellow card. A swinging delivery picked out the littlest man in the box - who neatly headed it past the helpless Arthur. 1-0 Rotherham.
Alfie didn't celebrate - he trudged back to the halfway line looking like a man who had shopped his dad to the rozzers.
Mr. Culshaw and I mused that it was no more than Rotherham deserved and that Rochdale would struggle to find anyway back into the game. Shows what pundits know doesn't it!
Two minutes later Jones threaded a ball through a melee of red shirts and found Dagnall. One stride - shoot! The ball squirmed under Warrington and trickled toward the goal line. Dagnall hurdled the sprawling keeper and made sure. 1-1!
Apart from thanking my lucky stars for Chris Dagnall - there was just one thing on my mind at half time: Just what is the Rotherham mascot? Is it a cat? Is it a bear? and in either case - what has that got to do with Rotherham? Then it dawned on me - I don't actually care. What a waste of fifteen minutes that turned out to be.
Dale started the second period more positively and a pretty even quarter of an hour of football followed with Dale producing a few half chances . However, on the stroke of the hour Tom Pope got to the right byline - but not to worry, two Dale shirts were shepherding him to safety. Pope twisted, Pope turned and somehow delivered a cross to the near post. Warne slipped in ahead of Stanton and applied the finish. 2-1 Rotherham.
...and that was pretty much that.
Rundle came on for Buckley. Spencer came on for Thompson. Dale went 4-3-3. All to no avail. O'Grady had a shot well saved and a chance for Dagnall - created by the aftermath of a thunderous Jones free-kick - was clawed away by Warrington in the dying minutes.
2-1 Rotherham.
Speak your brains
Your cast for today: Myself, Playboy Dan & Mr. Keane.
Oh Alfie...
Whilst Dagnall's goal was far from beautiful - beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It looked pretty good to me.
O'Grady looked good - and is definitely not the new Lee Thorpe.
Stanton's reintroduction seemed to unbalance the defence - if you have a problem, if no-one else can help and if you can find him...
Dale looked better with Rundle on the pitch - mark my words Mr. Hill. Mark them!
I will give U2 'Pride' and 'The Unforgettable Fire' - however, the state of the pitch today gives me one more reason to give Bono a jolly good ticking off - should I ever meet him - which is highly unlikley.
England won The Ashes - which was nice.
Some time ago Mr. Hill remarked that watching Rochdale was a little like watching soft porn -lots of fancy build-up, but...' I guess you know the rest. Today's performance from Dale barely classed as soft porn - more like Bambi. Entertaining but basically inoffensive.
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