Fame

Rochdale AFC 0 - 1 Wycombe Wanderers FC

Journey:

My trip to Spotland today involved a detour to Tesco to pick up a shirt. Mr. Kilgour ties the knot today and I needed something to wear at the reception later. Tesco may seem a little downscale - but it represents a triumph for Mrs. Eden-Maughan - she has finally pried me away from Matalan.

Having braved the bizarre parallel world that is the car park at Tesco (forget whatever you have lerned about driving and do whatever you feel like), I finally managed to park and trotted to the main entrance.

Well... It seemed it had finally happened. Bury fans were picketing the Rochdale branch of Tesco. OK - they had thrown away a 1-0 lead and come within a hairs breadth of losing the game last week - but picketing a major super market. This was a serious development.

Erm - well, not exactly.

It seems that not everybody shaking a bucket is a Bury fan. Under cross examination the silver haired lady who shook her bucket at me as I tried to walk into Tesco's kept to her: 'it's for Christian Aid' story. She had an honest face - I made a donation and pressed on.

Tesco.

Early one morning, quite some time ago and probably mildly hungover I met Tony Ford at the cash points at Tesco. This was my first brush with the Dale glitterati. The best I could manage was 'you're Tony Ford aren't you!' - he said 'yes' took his cash and headed for his car. My inability to say anything sensible around the good and the great could be an issue today...

Keane Jnr. would be one of today's official match mascots - thanks to some negotiation from Mr. Keane I would be part of the 'family' party - a seat in the Main Stand, just behind the dugout and unrestricted access to the players lounge - before, during and after the game. Theoretically, this should represent the greatest day of my life - assuming I didn't say anything really dim.

Whilst waiting for the rest of the 'family' party to arrive, Will 'Shaker Maker' Buckley walked right past me. Seconds later, John Shaw, Raphale Evans & Nathan D'Laryea also walked within inches of me.

Did I:

1) Nod as they passed by and say 'alright lads'

2) Heartily shake them by the hand and wish them a great season.

3) Nervously shuffle from foot to foot, making every effort to avoid eye contact.

I'll give you a clue - the correct answer begins with 'T' and ends with 'hree'.  All in all a pretty conservative start.

There was a brief moment of alarm when I tried talking to the real Mr. Golden Gamble - but Mr. Keane intervened in the knick of time to ensure that Rochdale's Mr. Vegas was not unduly detained or inconvenienced.

Weather:

Cool and cloudy with patches of blue and sporadic warm sunshine.

I should say at this point it was really warm in the players lounge - I mean really warm - in the players lounge - warm - players lounge - did I mention I was in the players lounge?

Food:

So - I saw quite a lot of Dale notables today. However, very little prepared me for seeing the girls who run the Sandy Lane Patissierie lurching into work - perhaps just the worse for their Friday night exertions. I can't be absolutely sure why - but this was every bit as exciting as seeing the players - I suspect I should get out more.

Being a pretend-VIP today I didn't have to go through the usual drudge of pie queues. A polite young lady in a smart uniform served me home made meat and potato pie with as much red cabbage as I wanted for £2.70 - to add to my dining experience, I got to eat it within spitting distance of the Dale board of directors (being a gentleman - obviously I didn't spit). A decent enough bunch all in all - well, apart from the fellow with the toupee. I suspect he is the only man alive who believes what the salesman told him:- 'your friends will never know'. Well, perhaps his friends never will - but the Keane 'family' party definitely did.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any better - Ex-Dale keeper Matt Gilks walked in... What a day.

Away Support:

Ms. Bentley in her new capacity as my unpaid and largely unappreciated researcher counted them - 109. Chanted like they were posessed throughout. Entertainment must be in really short supply in their neck of the woods if what Wycombe served up today was worthy of such raptures.

Action:

With moments to spare we took our seats in the main stand. The Keane 'family' party consisted of Mr. Keane, Ms. Bentley, Keane jnr (mascot boy), his little sister, young Mr. Bentley, Mr. Keane snr, Mr. Mitchell - and in a surprise return - Mrs. Mitchell. Oh - and myself in the capacity of celebrity hanger-on - or if you will - ligger.

I'll be honest, this new practice of having the players line up World Cup stylee before the game has left me a little cold this season. However, with Keane jnr taking a leading role - ably stewarded by the endlessly versatile Gary Jones - and a seat in the Main Stand meaning I could actually see what was going on - I thought it added something to the procedings. Keane jnr discharged his responsibilities with some degree of style - the Keane 'family' party all looked suitably proud.

It was around this point that I noticed that the actor Bernard Hill was sitting a little way away from me. For the younger generation - he was the king in Lord of the Rings - for me he will always be Yosser Hughes. This really was becoming a slightly surreal day.

And so to the game...

Shaw didn't start again, Ramsden replaced Wiseman at right fullback and due to an injury to Hellboy in the warm-up Ciaran Toner made his first start for Dale. Will 'Shaker Maker' Buckley kept his place on the right side of midfield.

We started with Daggers and St. Adam up top again - having seen Wycombe in action a couple of times last season it seemed likely they would have a tough afternoon.

Wycombe sides last term were not fantastically gifted or expressive - but they were ruthlessly organised, resolute in defence and most importantly took their chances when they materialised. Their new manager, Peter Taylor (Ex-England Manager - and one time Page Seven Fella in the Daily Star) clearly saw no reason to mess with a formula which took Wycombe all the way to the play-off's last season.

After last weeks poor start Dale seemed determined not to repeat the mistake. An impressive selection of chances were created - regrettably none of them being converted - at times it seemed that Dale were trying to walk the ball over the line. It was quite frustrating - lots of possession - some nice flashes of skill from Buckley - a placed effort from Daggers trickling inches wide of the post having already beaten the Chairboys keeper - but nothing to show for it.

Remember what I said about taking your chances...

On the half hour Wycombe won a corner - Russell saved the orginal Mike Williamson effort but the loose ball fell to Chris Zebroski who made no mistake from inside the area. 1-0 Wycombe.

Now, with sixty minutes to go you would think that there was a way back into this game - maybe even push for the win. You are clearly forgetting that we were playing Wycombe. Having got their goal, as far as the Chairboys were concerned the game was over - the referee just hadn't blown the whistle yet.

I enjoyed my half-time pint - I saw Marcus Holness in the players lounge - we speculated about how Playboy Dan may make his bid to get into this weeks report - I retook my seat and prepared for the inevitable.

Dale made a decent fist of the second half and when Thorpe joined on fifty-seven minutes there were moments when it seemed that there may be a way through. But - as I say - we were playing Wycombe. Chances came, chances went, the whistle blew, we left.

Summary:

Please don't misunderstand me - Dale were not bad today. In fact they controlled most of the game and played some nice tidy stuff. It all came down to finishing. Once again Dale generated more chances than the opposition but just couldn't find a way to finish them. Wycombe had one really decent chance and took it.

This was a disappointing end to what had been a brilliant day. The Keane 'family' party had planned to hang around for a while - maybe get some autographs, but the experience of watching Wycombe seemed to have squeezed every ounce of enthusiasm out of everyone. We just wanted to go home.

Turner Watch:

Q. What is a weekly feature in this report and also invisible?
A. No Turner Watch

He was at Mr. Kilgour's wedding so we didn't see his happy little face this week.

6/09/08