Duality

Rochdale AFC 0 - 2 Darlington FC

Journey:

I have seen Mr. Turner wearing a roman centurion’s helmet, a big pink wig and most unfortunately of all – shorts.

Nothing really prepared me for what I saw today.

I arrived at Mr. Turner’s place of employ a little after 11 to be greeted by himself, in a shirt and tie, sat in a big leather chair, behind a desk, looking the very essence of the modern business man.

Can this be the same Mr. Turner? Well the fact that he was scouring the internet for a website which would be showing today’s televised game did shatter the illusion somewhat.

So which one is the real Mr. Turner? The shirt and tie clad business man or the pink wig wearing socialite? Unsatisfyingly – the answer is both. He is not alone either.

Back in the day, Brian Moore was notorious on the rugby field for his uncompromising approach to the game. But, when he wasn’t dishing it out to the Welsh, French, Scotts and Irish – he was one of the most respected lawyers in London.

The fact is that everyone has at least two sides to them. Thinking or doing one thing while thinking or doing the absolute opposite is pretty normal. It is called duality.

Having drained a mug of tea I bid farewell to Mr. Turner - who was by now being polite and helpful to some prospective clients – and headed for Spotland.

As I wandered round to reception to collect my press pass there were huge Sky TV wagon’s filling up the car park – big bundles of cables trailing everywhere; the all weather pitch near the Studd’s bar had been turned into a funfair – complete with a giant inflatable dragon - and even at 11.30 there were hordes of smiling, replica shirt wearing, Dale fans milling around the ground. Even the closure of Sandy Lane due to a road accident hadn’t stemmed the tide of revellers.

I finally managed to elbow my way through the throng and joined the queue in reception. When my turn finally came, a besuited fellow slipped in front of me and announced to the lady on reception: ’Lord Mawhinney is here!’. I looked over my shoulder and sure enough – standing right behind me was the chairman of the Football League. I did consider bowing or curtseying (I’m not sure which is more appropriate for a Lord) but settled instead on getting out of the way.

With his Lordship ushered safely away from the common herd I collected my pass, slipped through the side door that leads onto the players tunnel and arrived pitch side.

The first thing I saw raised a smile and perhaps just a little tear. The big flag from Wembley was back! The last time I saw the flag it was dangling from beneath a little airship above the Wembley turf – today it was draped over one section of seating in the Wilbutts Lane stand.

Almost 12 months after that trip to Wembley I am still not quite certain how I feel about it. It was the most wonderful, most exciting, most harrowing and most disappointing day of my life. Stupid duality.

Weather:

The daffodils outside Aldi may have died off – but the balmy spring weather continues.

Short sleeves for most, although the cautious favoured a light jacket folded over the arm, the ‘cooler’ sections of the Dale faithful flicked theirs casually over their shoulders.

Blue skies, fluffy clouds, warm sunshine – if you listened carefully, you could almost hear the sound of 3500 Rochdalian faces changing from their normal blue/grey colour, through white and towards a healthy pink.

I was in the sunless main stand, in a short sleeved shirt, shivering.

Food:

This commentating malarkey has been great fun - I thank whatever gods were on duty that day for seeing fit to smile on me – and the free buffet at half time is a definite bonus… but, it lacks a certain meat and potatoyness. I really enjoy commentating – but I also enjoy a meat and potato pie while watching football. Stupid duality.

Away Support:

It is a long way from Darlington to Rochdale – especially when your hopes of promotion have been dashed by a points deduction and the game is on the telly anyway. Unsurprisingly, only a couple of hundred Quakers fans made the journey.

Action:

It was all really exciting. A bigger than normal crowd, an army of Sky folks doing complicated technical things, sometime Premiership referee, Andy D’Urso, calling the shots and a beautiful sunny day – a perfect setting to show off Dale’s talents to the world (and I do mean world – Mr. Turner finally found a Saudi Arabian web site which would be showing the game). When I joined Mr. Culshaw he was bouncing up and down like a kid at Christmas time. On a brief trip into the Studd’s bar we met Playboy Dan who had cast aside his usual suave reserve and was grinning from ear to ear. That said, he wasn’t as excited as Playboy jnr, who had put a penalty past Rochdale club mascot, Desmond the Dragon, at the funfair and won a pencil case – which he was showing off rather proudly. Today was going to be absolutely brilliant.

With Jones and Wiseman still injured, your team for today would be as follows: Fielding in goal. Kennedy, McArdle, Stanton and Ramsden in defence. Rundle, Keltie, Toner and Buckley in midfield. Dagnall and St. Adam upfront.

Amid enthusiastic singing from the Rochdale fans, waving flags and blaring horns – the game began. Fresh from a profitable Easter weekend where Dale appeared to have recovered from their recent stutters, a confident Rochdale rolled forward.

In truth it looked as if Dale planned to have the whole game wrapped up in the opening ten minutes – which funnily enough is exactly what happened, but not at all how I imagined.

Mr. Culshaw and I were still in the process of picking over a mouth watering move which had seen LeFondre beat his man and flash the ball across the face of goal - where Dagnall had failed to make contact by the width of a blade of grass with the keeper totally standed – when the party came to a shuddering halt.

From the clearance the ball made it’s way to Jason Kennedy who had a speculative punt from around twenty yards which went past the post, bounced off the hoardings and back onto the field. Well. That was what I thought had happened. But, why were the Darlington players celebrating? More importantly, why was Mr. D’Urso indicating a goal? There was a brief break in commentary as Mr. Culshaw and I caught flies.

It wouldn’t be until half time when I saw the television replay that it became clear that I had been an unwitting witness to the laws of physics having a little rest. Kennedy’s fourth minute, dipping, twisting, thunderbolt was utterly awesome. 1-0 Darlington.

The effect on the Rochdale fans was immediate and shattering. Total silence. The party had ended. Dale soldiered on and created a selection of good opportunities, but poor finishing, stout defending and the Darlo keeper, Kazimierczak’s un-nerving habit of being in just the right place at the right time meant that Dale could not find a way through.

Half time. In lieu of meat and potato I scarfed down as many sausage rolls as I could get my hands on, grabbed a cup of free coffee, watched Kennedy’s goal from a dizzying number of angles on the TV in the press room and then headed back to the commentary area. On my way back I passed a bloke using his mobile phone in the corridor. He looked very familiar although I couldn’t quite place him, so I smiled and said, ’you alright mate?’. He looked at me completely blankly. This was on account of him being retired Premiership referee Jeff Winter.

The second half got underway and Dale pressed forward once more. The Quakers almost put the ball in their own net, Buckley hit the post, Dale were denied what looked like a pretty clear penalty when a Darlington defender punched a Will Buckley shot away from danger and Dagnall lashed a volley wide of the post.

…and then Darlington scored again. Well sort off. A seemingly harmless header which appeared to be going out of play bounced back off the post. Fielding and McArdle had a ‘to me, to you’ moment which ended with McArdle poking it into his own net on 66 minutes. 2-0 Darlington.

I honestly can’t be bothered describing the rest. 2-0 Darlington it ended.

Summary:

A wonder goal and an embarrassing mistake. That was the story of today.

Dale weren’t actually that bad. They created a hat full of chances – but they simply couldn’t finish any of them. Nervous finishing, bad luck and a ruthlessly organised Darlo defence meant that having conceded so early Dale were really up against it.

More invention and drive from the Rochdale central midfield pairing of Keltie and Toner may have helped Dale’s cause today – but none was to be had. Gary Jones, please come back – we need you.

…and so, back to duality. Defeat today means that automatic promotion for Dale is pretty much impossible. Well, it is still ‘mathematically’ possible – but we all know what that means. After a season which held such promise, it looks like the play-off’s again. As I stood in the sunshine outside the Ratcliffe Arms with Mr. Keane, I felt utterly gutted. Play-off’s! What a complete let down! A total failure!

Hang on a minute!

2006/7 saw Dale go from being hot favourites for relegation at Christmas to almost making the play-off’s. At that time, Dale had only been involved in the play-off’s once in their history.

2007/08 saw Dale make the play-off’s and go all the way to the Wembley final.

2008/09 and Dale are one point away from guaranteeing the play-off’s for the second season in a row. Play-off’s here we come! Time to believe! We’ve never had it so good!

Stupid duality.

Turner Watch:

Having found the Saudi Arabian sports web site, it took him a further twenty minutes to spot the ‘English Version’ button. A brave effort with the Arabic though.

18/04/09