The ballad of Chris O'Grady

Rola Cola Sponsored English League Two

Rochdale AFC 4 - 0 Rotherham United FC

Journey

25th January 1986.  It was a Saturday.  Three elf faced Norwegians had just gone to number one in the charts with a song about a lack of curtains in their mum's front room's.  As a result  I developed a brief fascination with hair gel and ripped jeans.  But more importantly, in a hospital somewhere in Nottingham, a baby boy named Christopher James made his debut appearance for the O'Grady family.

If this was a real profile thingy - on telly 'n that - we would cut to a montage here.  Chris's dodgy school photo's and dodgier holiday photo's intercut with bits from popular TV show's of the time - Power Rangers would definitely be in there - voiced over by Johnny Vegas and concluding with a picture of young Mr. O'Grady holding a plastic trophy aloft on some wind blasted playing field, whilst grinning like a mad un.  Fortunately this isn't TV.

In 2000 he started training with Leicester City and having got his feet under the table signed on as a pro at the Crisp Bowl in 2003.  Between 2003 and 2007 he was a bit part player for Leicester - although he did score against Inter Milan in a pre-season friendly.  And so he began to walk the earth.  A loan spell at Notts County (including his first trip to Spotland) and a long loan spell at Rushden (and to a lesser degree, Diamonds) kept the young striker out of mither.

When Rotherham United rolled up to the Walkers Stadium in early 2007 waving a fist full of cash, he was on the move again.  Things started well.  He would hit the back of the net 13 times in a season and a half for the Millers.  And then it all went wrong.  Rotherham took a spin through the administration car wash and offered Mr.O'Grady the exciting opportunity to work without pay.  He declined, the fans took umbridge and he rapidly found himself heading along the M62 to Oldham.

His wanderings continued: from there he went out on loan to Bury, and Bradford, and then Stockport all with little success - he finally washed up at Spotland last August.  Nerves around Spotland were still raw after the departure of Mrs. LeFondre's little boy to Rotherham - few expected much from the nomadic striker.  His debut - ironically against Rotherham, where he endured 90 minutes of boo's and sundry abuse - gave little clue of what was to come.

The rest you already know.  Tonight Rotherham and Adam LeFondre are back in town...

Weather 

Blue skies and sunshine during the day gave way to a dark, cloudless and above all freezing night.   Mr. Culshaw and I seemed to have had the same idea - wear everything you own.  We looked like Tinky-Winky and Dipsy.  Naturally, I was Tinky-Winky. 

Food

No thanks.  I'd had a big tea.

Away Support

Loads more than Bradford.  That should put the cat amongst the pigeons.

600 - maybe a few more.

News

Taking your ball in. Ronnie Moore has taken his ball in - and by 'ball' I mean Jason Taylor and by 'in' I mean refusing to let him play for Dale tonight.  How popular were you at school Ronnie?

Hurry up and wait.  Fielding not selected to play in some England U21 game - meaning he can play for Dale tonight.  Which is nice. 

More Awesome.  Dale heart throb Craig Dawson sign's an extension to his contract until 2012 - the week after media legend Stuart Hall announced on Radio 5 Live that our Craig will play for England one day.  Then a man in a bee costume ran on carrying a bucket of red water - which spoiled things a bit.

...and the winner is!  PFA League Two player of the month for February 2010.  Chris O'Grady.   

Action

Your team for tonight:

GK: Fielding
Def: McArdle, Stanton, Dawson, Kennedy(T)
Mid: Jones, Kennedy(J), Toner
For: Atkinson, Dagnall, O'Grady

Being a Dale fan, the words 'top of the table clash' and 'promotion six pointer' haven't figured heavily in my vocabulary down the years.  But this was just that.  Add in a slightly unconvincing win over Macc at the weekend - courtesy of Mr. O'Grady's boot and about fifteen deflections, the return to Spotland of Mrs. LeFondre's little boy and an undoubtedly warm reception for our Chris from the away fans - and you have a very exciting prospect.  Two good sides, both vying for promotion, one goal either way could be enough to extend Dale's lead at the top of League Two - or catapult Rotherham into the automatic promotion berths.  What is it real football journalists say - oh yes - 'It's too close to call here at Spotland, now back to the studio for some more sleaze about John Terry'.  

In plummeting temperatures, Mr. Tanner lit the blue touch paper and retired to a safe distance.  Rotherham ploughed into the Dale defences, seemingly intent on wrapping things up in the first ten minutes.  Their best chance came when Jaap Stam look-e-like-e Kevin Ellison smashed a shot goalward - only to see it flash wide of the goal frame.

Dale were fighting a stubborn rear guard against a pacy, powerful and unswervingly determined Millers outfit.  Just when it seemed that the pressure might crush them, up popped O'Grady on the Rotherham left.  As he has done so many times this season, he drove to the byline, turned his man, and flashed a cross into the box.  Dagnall may have been guilty of profligacy on Saturday - not this time.  1-0 Dale!

Dale could have been two to the good moments later - but Warrington in the Millers goal pulled off a fine save to deny Dawson's header.  Rotherham retaliated immediately forcing three hastily improvised saves from Fielding in a matter of minutes.  In each case Fielding was almost undone by the ball swerving freakishly in the cold air or bouncing erratically off the uneven surface.

It was genuinely end to end stuff as Rotherham poured forward seeking an equaliser and Dale parried and counter attacked.  A hatful of chances presented themselves to both sides - but Dale maintained their lead and had probably the best chance to trouble the scorer when Tom Kennedy's late free kick was acrobatically fended away by Warrington.

At half time Mr. Culshaw and I were briefly joined by Mr. Sharples from the Dale Player commentary team.  He made a prediction: 'If Dale score again, they will score a lot more'.  In the tradition of wild eyed, mystic type folk he promptly disappeared into thin air*.

The second half started much as the first had - but Dale made the running this time.  A sequence of corners culminated in a powerful volley from Jones which cleared the Sandy.  Rotherham roared back.  Harrison's long range effort through the crowded area had Fielding at full stretch to deal with it.  From the resulting corner Fielding misjudged and LeFondre's header seemed destined for the back of the net - but Atkinson somehow interved and hacked the sometime Dale favourite's effort off the line.

Moments later Jason Kennedy came close to opening his account for Dale - but good defending and tame shooting meant his wait would continue.  Rochdale were well on top by now - but a second goal eluded them, until Chris O'Grady picked up he ball on the Dale left, romped to the byline and drilled the ball across the face of goal.  In point of fact, there wasn't a Dale player within yards of the ball - but Gavin Gunning flapped.  His mis-cued clearance cannoned off Green and past a helpless Warrington.  2-0 Dale!

Maybe it was simply the second goal, maybe it was the manner of the second goal - but Rotherham collapsed.  Moments later Dawson rose above the crowd to meet Tom Kennedy's corner and once again Warrington was undone.  3-0 Dale!

In spite of receiving a seemingly endless stream of abuse from the away fans, Chris O'Grady had pretty well run the show for Dale tonight, Sharps, Fenton and later Gunning had endured a pretty miserable evening trying to mark him, he had created two of Dale's goals - there was just one thing missing...

With sixteen minutes to go he sprung the Millers offside trip, foxed his floundering marker, picked his spot - and passed the ball into the net.  He may have grinned in the direction of the rapidly departing away fans.  4-0 Dale!

Atkinson, O'Grady, Jones and Dagnall all had opportunities to rub salt into the Millers wounds - but 4-0 it stayed.  By the final whistle the away fans had already left.

Man of the match?  Chris O'Grady.

* Actually he went for a brew - but that doesn't sound at all mysterious does it?         

Speak Your Brains

Your cast for tonight: Me.

• Dale go eight points clear with a game in hand over Bournemouth.
• Until the second goal, this really could have gone either way.  Rotherham were excellent to that point.  After it they simply collapsed.
• It was good to see Alfie again, but better to see his little head poking out of Nathan Stanton's back pocket for most of the game.
• Mr. Sweetmore once again courted controversy - instead of simply announcing the attendance, he had to embelish didn't he!  'The latest team to be footballed to death at Spotland....'  Ronnie Moore appeared to be having a seizure - mind you, so did Keith Hill.
• A great performance from Ciaran Toner - good to have you back big fella.
• Craig Dawson picked up his first yellow card for Dale tonight.  Yep that's right - first.
• The sun always shines on C.O.G...

Bambi

Rola-Cola Sponsored English League 2

Rotherham United FC 2 - 1 Rochdale AFC

Journey

09:00 hrs, Siddall Moor playing fields. Clarence Jnrs. vs. Littleborough Yellows - pre-season friendly.

Along with Mr. Keane and Mr. Rigby, this morning finds me loitering on the touchline at Siddall Moor to view the culmination of The Yellows pre-season program. After last seasons thrilling promotion campaign - great things were expected this morning.

Sadly, things didn't really go to plan. Clarence's greater physical presence and incisive finishing through their gazelle-like number 7 consigned The Yellows to a 4-0 defeat. But for the heroics of Keane jnr in the Littleborough goal the damage could have been significantly worse.

More on the Mighty Yellows as their season unfolds...

As well as covering The Yellows promotion season, I managed to squeeze in every single Rochdale league fixture. On that Odyssey I was accompanied by Jane - my Sat Nav. You will notice that I didn't say 'faithful Sat Nav'. That is because 'she' went out of her way to make my quest very nearly impossible. She was the worst, most wilful, contrary, maddening piece of technology I have ever purchased - every journey was a complete lottery, getting to a game was marked by joy and relief in equal measure. You will note however that I said 'was'. That is because she is dead.

I tried an experimental test run on Saturday - nothing, wouldn't even start up. I tried hooking her up to Tom-Tom central for a software update. Still nothing. Ding-dong the witch is dead.

Good riddance to bad rubbish I say. However, I am sure she was cackling in her watery grave (I gave her a Viking burial in the canal, sort of), because once again she had mucked up my travel plans. Just how do you get to the Don Valley Stadium without Sat Nav? For that matter - how do you get anywhere without Sat Nav these days?

However, help was at hand. Mr. Keane agreed to lend me his Sat Nav . His Sat Nav is called Mary - and she is Irish. After about an hour of 'torning layft noy' and 'torning royt at the roynd aboyt' - followed by thirty extra minutes caused by my not paying attention, missing a turning and getting caught up in roadworks near Rotherham. I finally arrived in Sheffield - to watch Rotherham...

It appears that Mr. Ashworth's dark influence reaches across the Pennine's. My press pass was addressed to - Mr. Edam-Maughan. I wasn't that bothered - it's only game four and he is already pretty much out of ideas. I can wait this out.

Weather

Overcast, hot, humid and inundated with wasps.

Food

Being on the late side, I had to dash past the pie stand - casting a wistful backward glance as I went. It was probably for the best after my pie-a-thon on Tuesday night. I did however manage to get a free thimble of tea from the media lounge* at half-time.

*Slightly smaller than a veal crate.

Ground

Don Valley Stadium. World Student Games etc, etc. One covered stand where both sets of fans were housed (400+ Dale) - the balance being uncovered seats arrange round an eight lane running track.

Don Valley is actually quite a nice stadium - for athletics. For football it means that the fans are miles from the pitch and any attempt to generate a bit of atmosphere is defeated by the wide running track and the open sides. Mind you, the yellow painted stachions that support the fabric roof do make it look slightly like the Corkscrew at Alton Towers - scant consolation I suppose.

However, the stadium was not the talking point today. It was the pitch. Holier than thou, beat combo, U2, had played a gig at Don Valley last Thursday night (hence the shift to a Sunday kick-off). During which almost half of the grass had been turned into a yellow and brown abomination (leave a paddling pool on your lawn for a week - and U2 can achieve that authentic Don Valley look).

On a pitch of two halves and amid rumours of nails and glass on the surface - Mr. Sutton decided the game could go ahead.

News

In the wee small hours of Saturday morning a heavily armed convoy crawled into the car park at Spotland. As black clad man waved automatic weapons around and said 'hut!' and 'roger!' a number of boxes were smuggled into the club shop. The shirts have arrived!

I saw Playboy Dan covertly observing procedings amidst the away fans and sporting an example of the new, purple away shirt. It looked surprisingly stylish - but Playboy just has that knack with clothes. Dale's bid to empty Oldham's reserve squad continues with the loan signing of Chris O'Grady. At 6' 3" the well travelled young striker seems to have been brought in to fill the Lee Thorpe shaped hole left by - Lee Thorpe. In an exclusive interview with May Contain Football, Chris said: 'I am not the new Lee Thorpe', but went on to ask, 'do you know why there is a packet of Bic razors in my training kit?'.*

*Interview may be completely made up.

Action

Your team for today:

GK: Arthur

Def: Flynn, Stanton, Dawson, Kennedy(T)

Mid: Thompson, Kennedy(J), Jones, Buckley

For: Dagnall, O'Grady

Bench: Edwards, Wiseman, Holness, Rundle, Stephens, Spencer, Shaw

Following Cheltenham's late, late show on Tuesday evening changes seemed likely. Stanton back in for Holness, Buckley slotting in at left midfield and Chris 'definitely not Lee Thorpe' O'Grady making his Dale debut alongside Dagnall.

The result on Tuesday was a shocking disappointment - Dale could and should have won, at the very least a draw would have been an acceptable return for the performance. However, Holness' brief lapse of concentration had allowed the League Two branch of Age Concern to steal a late and unlikely winner for the Robins. Very disappointing indeed.

Today wasn't going to be easy either - Rotherham had started their season well and the aquisition of Mrs. LeFondre's little boy from Rochdale meant that Dale would have their hands full this afternoon. Rotherham sized Dale up for a few minutes - and then went for the throat. Tom Pope conjouring up two early efforts - thankfully straight at Arthur - followed by a raking shot which had Arthur at full stretch to divert it away from danger.

Dale's defence were at 6's and 7's as Pope and LeFondre ran riot. Alfie producing a trademark roll off Kennedy(T) only to fire over the bar. The depth of Dale's defensive troubles became very clear when Arthur mis-cued a clearance straight at Alfie who easily squirmed free of Dawson and poked the ball into the net - Dale were only spared by the waving stick of the linesman who felt LeFondre had handled the ball. He hadn't. It was a huge let off.

For their part Dale had responded with a couple of efforts from Buckley both of which drifted wide and a decent shot from Dagnall which Warrington gathered at the second or third attempt. But the facts were that it was pretty well all Rotherham - Dale were hanging on - just.

As half time loomed it seemed that perhaps Dale had weathered the storm. But a needless and ill judged challenge from Stanton on Warne on the touchline, adjacent to the edge of the eighteen yard box gave The Millers a free kick and Stanton a yellow card. A swinging delivery picked out the littlest man in the box - who neatly headed it past the helpless Arthur. 1-0 Rotherham.

Alfie didn't celebrate - he trudged back to the halfway line looking like a man who had shopped his dad to the rozzers.

Mr. Culshaw and I mused that it was no more than Rotherham deserved and that Rochdale would struggle to find anyway back into the game. Shows what pundits know doesn't it!

Two minutes later Jones threaded a ball through a melee of red shirts and found Dagnall. One stride - shoot! The ball squirmed under Warrington and trickled toward the goal line. Dagnall hurdled the sprawling keeper and made sure. 1-1!

Apart from thanking my lucky stars for Chris Dagnall - there was just one thing on my mind at half time: Just what is the Rotherham mascot? Is it a cat? Is it a bear? and in either case - what has that got to do with Rotherham? Then it dawned on me - I don't actually care. What a waste of fifteen minutes that turned out to be.

Dale started the second period more positively and a pretty even quarter of an hour of football followed with Dale producing a few half chances . However, on the stroke of the hour Tom Pope got to the right byline - but not to worry, two Dale shirts were shepherding him to safety. Pope twisted, Pope turned and somehow delivered a cross to the near post. Warne slipped in ahead of Stanton and applied the finish. 2-1 Rotherham.

...and that was pretty much that.

Rundle came on for Buckley. Spencer came on for Thompson. Dale went 4-3-3. All to no avail. O'Grady had a shot well saved and a chance for Dagnall - created by the aftermath of a thunderous Jones free-kick - was clawed away by Warrington in the dying minutes.

2-1 Rotherham.

Speak your brains

Your cast for today: Myself, Playboy Dan & Mr. Keane.

• 
  
  Oh Alfie...
  
  
  
• 
  
  Whilst Dagnall's goal was far from beautiful - beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It looked pretty good to me.
  
  
  
• 
  
  O'Grady looked good - and is definitely not the new Lee Thorpe.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Stanton's reintroduction seemed to unbalance the defence - if you have a problem, if no-one else can help and if you can find him...
  
  
  
• 
  
  Dale looked better with Rundle on the pitch - mark my words Mr. Hill. Mark them!
  
  
  
• 
  
  I will give U2 'Pride' and 'The Unforgettable Fire' - however, the state of the pitch today gives me one more reason to give Bono a jolly good ticking off - should I ever meet him - which is highly unlikley.
  
  
  
• 
  
  England won The Ashes - which was nice.
  
  
  

Some time ago Mr. Hill remarked that watching Rochdale was a little like watching soft porn -lots of fancy build-up, but...' I guess you know the rest. Today's performance from Dale barely classed as soft porn - more like Bambi. Entertaining but basically inoffensive.

Yin and Yang

Rochdale AFC 1 - 2 Rotherham United FC

Journey:

It must be spring. As I rolled past Rochdale Town Hall I could see daffodil's in the municipal flower beds. Earlier today I even saw daffodil's outside Aldi. Spring has come to Gods Country. The dark and weary yin of winter is slowly giving way to the bright and energetic yang of summer. It seems only weeks ago that I was fretting over the effects of arctic conditions on the 101 Project and suddenly - Daffodil's. Yin and yang.

On the subject of bright and energetic, as I parked up near the Town Hall, Mr. Turner appeared.

Mr. Turner would once again be joining the match commentary team on Roche Valley Radio along with Mr. Culshaw today. My task for this afternoon was to chaffeur him from his place of employ (just a little something to fill the gap between his numerous media projects) to Spotland. After some discussion of who got to ride shotgun between Mr. Turner and Lady Luck - Mr. Turner slid into the back seat looking suitably chastened.

At a little after 2pm I deposited Mr. Turner with Mr. Culshaw in the Studds Bar, said hello to Playboy Dan and watched Manchester United have an uncharacteristic stumble on the big screen TV. Still, it was only against Liverpool. Probably no harm done eh?

There was a time when I could have been drawn in by the gaudy oompah of Premiership football. It is very seductive afterall. Not these days though.

I don't hate the Premiership - I just don't really care about it. Manchester United vs. Liverpool - or - Rochdale vs. Rotherham. Pole's apart, but part of the same whole. Yin and Yang. I know which one gets my vote.

Weather:

Through the winter Rochdale has mostly lurked under an impenetrable shroud of grey murk. Today however we were treated to big fluffy white clouds, patches of blue sky and occasional sunshine. I didn't even need my hat and gloves - it was warm. Well warmish. OK then - not freezing.

Food:

I feel a drum roll may be in order. Today's guest pie is! Chicken and Mushroom.

However, I wasn't to be diverted from my purpose by the marketing blitz which accompanied the new kid in town (a sign written in black marker pen on a sheet of A4). I remained faithful to the church of meat and potato.

Away Support:

There had been word of a second invasion from the east. According to the message boards there was talk that Rotherham would dwarf the influx of Yorkshire folk we saw last Tuesday.

That's the problem with 'talk'. It is just that. Talk.

5 maybe 600. Fortunately they were nowhere near as rowdy as their West Riding cousins. Mrs. Eden-Maughan remarked after Tuesday's game that she could hear the 'Bradford Massive' at Tesco's - that is easily a mile and a half away.

Action:

Disappointingly Bradford's creative interpretation of the rules of the game meant that a cut, battered and bruised Will Buckley would miss today's encounter. However, much to Mr. Keane's delight 'Papa' Rundle would take his place on the left wing. Other than that - as you were.

Having seen Dale despatch the Bantams with such zest and elan on Tuesday night I was really looking forward to today. I am not - nor have ever been a fan of the 'Rotherham Method'. Essentially this requires ten very large men to kick you half senseless and then celebrate in the style of Brazil winning the World Cup when they dump your concussed goalkeeper and the ball in the back of the net.

I remember dimly a tie versus Rotherham years back, when having pulled off such a feat in the dying moments of the game that the then Rotherham player, Leo Fortune-West, ran the length of the field to kiss the badge in front of the Sandy. I also remember a rather elderly member of the Sandy faithful marching onto the pitch to remonstrate with Mr. Fortune-West. There is something truly quite wonderful about a portly old man giving almost 7ft of professional footballer the 'waggy finger'. Magical.

I was really hoping for a repeat of Tuesday...

It was quickly apparent that I would be disappointed. The zest and elan of Tuesday were gone. Dale looked laboured and somewhat like they would rather be somewhere else. The highlights - such as they were, are as follows: Rotherham striker Drew Broughton cut his head in a challenge with McArdle and was subbed off. Rotherham's Ryan Taylor had a shot at goal - which Fielding saved.

Mr. Turner's texted summary of the first period is sadly unprintable - suffice is to say he was unhappy with the performance from Dale.

That said, it was not a complete waste of time. Mr. Keane was able to provide myself, Mr. Mitchell and Lady Luck with a detailed summary of this morning's 4-3 win by the Mighty Yellow's over Seedfield Boys. The Yellows remain 2nd in the league behind Chadderton.

It has taken almost a whole season, but the penny seems to have finally dropped. Mr. Golden Gamble did his thing at half time and then moved onto the more pressing issue of stamping down divot's.

No cross bar challenge this week. Will it ever return?

Could we see a return of 'kick it in the bin'? Who can say - but as Mr. Golden Gamble dilligently went about his stamping duties I am pretty sure I saw him mutter, 'hollyhocks to the Grassmere, Falinge'. Aparrently his gardening responsibilities extend beyond the confines of Spotland Stadium - if that is indeed what he said...

Fortified by the fact that Rochdale are a 'second half team' we plunged onward. Dale did perk up a little at the start of the second period but produced little of note. On fifty minutes the old spector of the early second half concession reared it's head once more.

A seemingly aimless ball into the box found Rueben Reid with his back to goal. Wiseman was in position to ensure he couldn't turn and Stanton seemed to be ready to whip the ball away from him. Sadly he completely missed the challenge. As Stanton sailed past, Reid turned and lashed the ball into the bottom corner. 1-0 Rotherham.

Were Dale stung into action? Not really. Rochdale pressed but found a stout wall of Yorkshiremen diverting them from their objective. Thompson and Rundle were replaced by Higginbotham (newly returned from Accrington) and Adam's. It didn't seem to make much difference.

Around 70 minutes I grumbled to Mr. Keane that I could see Rochdale conceding again. I really should stop this - because on 71 minutes they did.

A thoroughly un-Rotherham-like sequence of flicks and tricks sprang Ryan Taylor free, who having outpaced Kennedy rifled his finish past a flailing Fielding from the edge of the 18 yard area. 2-0 Rotherham.

Were Dale stung into action? Well, yes. Just four minutes later Dale produced their only piece of genuine quality in the whole game.

Adam's drove in from the left, faked, shimmied and beguiled his way past a bamboozled Tonge and flicked in a tidy cross. St. Adam finding himself totally unmarked leapt to meet it and powered a header past the static Millers keeper. 2-1.

With nearly twenty minutes to go it seemed that Rochdale had finally decided to give it a go. A draw - maybe even a win could be on the cards.

Around 80 minutes the resurgent Rochdale were well and truly derailed. A Rotherham move down the left had seen what looked like a pretty clear handling offence. Mr. Russell waved play-on. The ball was popped in to the box where Ryan Taylor duly collapsed under challenge. Penalty.

From my vantage point I couldn't see what happened next. But I am told that Fielding took a leaf from Bruce 'Spaghetti Legs' Grobbelaar's book - and then some.

Not content with the wobbly legs and the waving which Bruce has made so popular in the modern game - he was also pointing vigorously to his right. Kind of 'put it there if you dare'. Reuben Reid cracked.

His penalty slammed against the bar and his follow up saw both Fielding and the ball in the back of the net - well I did say. Mr. Russell ajudged that this was foul play. 2-1 it remained.

Dale had a spirited attempt to get back into the game - but highly professional defending from the Millers held them firmly in check.

Summary:

After Tuesday's yang-fest - this was pretty much all yin. Dale have played a lot of games over the last few weeks - including the bizarre refereeing display vs. Brentford, the deluge at Barnet and the derby game at Gigg Lane. Today they looked lethargic and a bit disinterested. Considering the jaw dropping spectacle on Tuesday, today was very disappointing.

However, with Bury only summoning up a draw against ten man Lincoln - Dale stay third.

Yin and Yang - probably.

Turner Watch:

According to Mr. Culshaw, Mr. Turner was like a young Andy Gray this afternoon.

Sadly, minus the 'magic' pen.

14/03/09

Don't call me Shirley

Rotherham United FC 2 - 2 Rochdale AFC

Journey:

Droning. I woke up this morning to the very faint sound of droning.

After a Friday night get together of the Littleborough Debating and Choral Society, insistent ringing is slightly more normal - but no - droning. Almost imperceptable - but there none the less. I checked with Mrs. Eden-Maughan: 'can you hear that? - 'hear what?' she replied. I didn't press the point - she has been convinced that I hear voices for years - no sense in fueling the fire.

Today marks a first but probably not a last for the 2008/09 season. For the first time since 2001 I am going to an away game - on my own.

So - wiggling an index finger in my ear: still droning - I mounted up and headed for the land of the rising sun.

I'll be honest with you. I had been a little concerned about going solo. But - do you know what, it was truly liberating.

No complaints about my choice of radio station - Radio 2 all the way, no complaints about how fast I drive - under 70 all the way and no requests to stop at services, turn the air-con on/off, turn the music up/down - bliss...

An hour of gentle progress whilst taking in the glories of the Pennines and I arrived in Sheffield. Still droning though - it seemed to be getting louder.

Weather:

Blue skies and warm sunshine - is this the Indian summer we constantly hear about? Interestingly, the people of the Indian sub-continent have a word for typical English summer weather - they call it monsoon.

It might be a bee - possibly a large fly. Droning.

Food:

As already detailed, Friday night had involved a trip to Littleborough for a couple of quiet drinks - swiftly followed by several very noisy ones. Consequently, before I made the trip over the hill I had to make a pit stop for McMedicine - two cheeseburgers later and I was thoroughly on the mend.

Maybe a hummingbird. Drone, drone, drone.

£2.50 at the Don Valley Stadium gets you a Pukka meat and potato pie. Quite agreeable once it had cooled down - which took around twenty minutes. I suspect they had been using a jet engine on full afterburn to warm the pies - the first bite was a little like eating lava (I have a surprisingly large range of experience in this area).

Jet engine - now we're getting somewhere. It's like a plane - just a long way off - droning.

Ground:

If the unthinkable happened and Rochdale got themselves into a load of financial bother and lost the ground - you know in your heart that any rescued Dale would end up playing on Bowlee playing fields. Rotherham United however end up with the Don Valley Stadium - home of the 1991 Student Games - the burner for the Olympic style flame is still there.

It is your classic athletics bowl complete with running track. Uncovered seating around the inner rim of the bowl and a large covered stand on one side. For the purposes of today both Dale and Miller's fans would be in the covered area - 3,500 all told - 5-600 Dale.

I haven't been to this type of stadium before - it is one of only two in the Football League. The pitch seemed miles away and as the game wore on it became clear that all that empty space could swallow any attempt to generate an atmosphere. Not ideal for football - comfy seats though.

It is definitely getting louder - 'Can anyone else hear that?'

Action:

Right. So I had been deserted by Messers Keane, Mitchell and Turner - but this seasons revelation: Playboy Dan didn't let me down. I caught up with him in a pub over the road from the ground and spent the game in the company of the enigma that is - the Playboy.

I was thankful I could spend some time with Rochdale's newest celebrity because the football was pretty poor fayre.

Rotherham sides of yore were big, strong and happy to hoof it up the middle to a predictably gigantic striker who would happily bundle ball and keeper into the back of the net. It would seem that the new financial realities had caused them to downsize their players and curtail any residual creative impulses they may have had.

They were very poor to watch - the total silence from the home crowd said it all.

Dale struggled a little in the face of some typically uncompromising Miller's defending - but on 43 minutes an incisive passing move saw loaner Jordan Rhodes latch onto a rebounding shot which he lashed home to make it 1-0.

It can't just be me - that is definitely getting louder.

Half time saw the volcanic pie episode play out - the Playboy had similar challenges - but handled it like any undercover operative would. Oh - I may have said too much...

The only other real development was the sun settling just above the roof of the stand - from where it would shine directly into my eyes for the balance of the game.

Dale began the second period confidently and on 51 minutes were 2-0 up. More classy build-up play saw the Shaker Maker blast a low drive past Warrington in the Rotherham goal.

Right this is getting silly - it sounds like it is right on top of me.

Onward the black and blue tide rolled - and as they rolled forward, the clock rolled back. It was like being back at the end of last season. This was the best I had seen of Dale this term - surely three points were beyond doubt...

Well - they weren't - and, don't call me Shirley.

On 66 minutes, St. Adam made way for Lee Thorpe. It may have been the sun in my eyes but I could have sworn Leslie Nielsen appeared very briefly and spoke to Lee as he crossed the white line.

'I just want you to know, we're all counting on you'.

Just three short minutes later he was heading back accross the white line.

Two feet, entirely too airborne and a prone Rotherham defender left Mr. Drysdale with no doubts - straight red.

The droning had stopped... Replaced by the ear-splitting howl jet engines make as they hurtle towards a blind date with the ground.

On 77 under heavy Rotherham pressure the usually nerveless McArdle cracked and put the ball into his own net. 2-1.

Although seriously under the cosh, Dale were just managing to hold on - with minutes to go Dagnall had a golden opportunity to stretch the lead and play Rotherham out of the game. An over anxious lash at the ball saw it soaring over the bar. Still 2-1.

The Dale faithful all silently prayed for the board - well until the fourth official produced it that is - 6 minutes time added on!

Mayday! Mayday! We are going in...

95 minutes, Rueben Reid, top right corner, 2-2...

BOOM!

Summary:

Sublime to ridiculous. 66 minutes of the best football I have seen from Dale this season - including two cracking goals. Followed by two catastrophic error's of judgement and some form of temporal vortex on the touchline which delivered the longest period of time added-on I have seen since the nets collapsed at Spotland a few years back. I think the officials that day only added on ten minutes.

I checked up on the Thorpe dismissal - it isn't the fastest Dale red card of all time. The record is currently 18 seconds and is held by - Keith Hill...

Surely things can only get better from here. We'll see I guess - and, don't call me Shirley.

Turner Watch:

Brokering a new middle east peace deal. Probably.

13/09/08

Return of the king

Rochdale AFC 4 - 1 Rotherham United FC

Journey:

My niece is one today. This meant a whistle-stop trip to Stockport:

13:45 hrs arrive Stockport town centre. 13:50 hrs hand over gifts. 13:55 hrs coo over child and pose for happy snaps. 14:00 hrs discuss with brother-in-law the curious fate of his Liverpool FC at the hands of Manchester United yesterday. 14:10 hrs (yes he does go on a bit) lighting raid on buffet. 14:15 hrs depart Stockport town centre.

14:50 hrs arrive Rochdale. 14:55 hrs leave Mrs. Eden-Maughan and Lady Luck at RAFC club shop with instructions on where to come when their shopping trip is over. 14:58 hrs I arrive at the Sandy Lane terrace. Now that - is planning!

Food:

Pie and a coke - still quite full after the buffet blitzkrieg.

It was around here that my seamless plan fell apart. In her hurry to make the kick-off, Lady Luck had dragged her mother through the wrong turnstile. They were in the Main Stand.

Now call me suspicious, but...

Lady Luck has been in the Sandy many times - she knows where the turnstiles are. Two ladies - the option to stand for two hours - or - to have a seat. Accident or cunning plan? You decide.

In any case, Mrs. Eden-Maughan thoroughly enjoyed her pie - and the fact that you get change from £2 at Spotland.

Weather:

A still, cool afternoon. A heavy sky overhead promised snow for later.

Away Support:

200 maybe 250. Not a brilliant showing - but Rotherham have not had a brilliant week. Despite the best efforts of the Millers board - administration arrived once again like an odious and unwanted party guest. Not satisfied with drinking all the decent lager - administration also brings an automatic 10 point deduction. A bitter, bitter blow indeed.

However. Rotherham's loss is Dale's gain. Dale are now four points off the play-off's with three games in hand. Which is nice...

Action:

Due to the enforced absence of Keane, Mitchell and Mr. Whippy - and Mr Turner's other social commitments - I fielded a squad unchanged from Saturday. Mr. Hill however had chosen to make some changes.

Chris Basham dropped to the bench to be replaced by Ben Muirhead on the right of midfield. To the delight of the home fans it was also announced that Chris Dagnall would also be warming the bench for Dale today. Encouraging - but you shouldn't expect too much - not with everything that lad has been through - it's just great to have him back - no, shouldn't expect too much...

It seems an eternity since Dale tangled with the Millers at Spotland - but it is true what they say: you meet everyone twice in your life - once on the way up - once on the way back down. Welcome back Rotherham.

Dale, as is their wont, began brightly. Two or three half decent chances followed and all looked well. ...And then Rotherham won a corner. 1-0 Rotherham - Joseph claiming the laurels for the Millers on the seven minute mark.

My memory of Rotherham sides of old is eleven very large men who would quite literally batter you off the field of play. Clearly the current Millers mangement see no reason to mess with a trusted formula. The next twenty minutes were truly torrid for Dale.

Rotherham over-ran the Dale midfield - Le Fondre and Howe were marooned upfield, encircled by large, serious looking defenders. The Dale defensive unit were stretched to the maximum - with Lee, Ramsden, Mc Ardle, Stanton and Kennedy performing above and beyond the call of duty.

Being Easter - a miracle was required and duly it arrived.

A speculative ball upfield, pulled down by Rundle - into Howe - accross the area to Jones. GOAL! On thirty minutes, Dale were back in it. 1-1.

Spurred on Dale went over to the offensive and finished the half very much on the front foot.

As I have mentioned, the travelling circus which normally accompany me to home games were all otherwise engaged and my loved ones had elected for the comfort of the main stand. What then, is a Dale fan to do?

Talk to complete strangers - that's what!

There is an etiquette to this of course. A muttered comment about the procedings so far, referee's, the game at Notts County. Three minutes into half time - Mike and I were the best of pals. He even gave me an extra strong mint. Ace!

Dale started purposefully as the second half began. With proof that Rotherham's titans could indeed be bettered - chances came - but sadly went. After ten minutes of Dale pressure the pendulum swung back to the Millers.

Once again Dale's defensive unit were put under the cosh - but as before they held out. A draw was to neither team's advantage and substitutions quickly came. Rotherham on sixty minutes with Newsham, Dale on sixty five with Thorpe - and then again on sixty eight with Dagnall.

Agressive - but Thorpe had showed little in his time at Spotland and was reportedly the worse for a cold, Dagnall had suffered two horrible injuries - a nasty operation (trust me on this - I know) and a long, painful convalesence. Was this really a recipe for success?

Err - apparently - yes.

Ten minutes of bedding in and then the storm broke.

On eighty one minutes a ball into the area found Thorpe. Pivot. Cross. Dagnall. GOAL! 2-1 Dale. ( I understand that at this point an ecstatic Mr. Flitcroft pitched head first into the snowdrift next to the dug-out). Eighty six minutes - Dagnall again - 3-1. Ninety minutes - who else - Dagnall - 4-1.

Dagnall raced into the goal to collect the match ball and held it aloft for the Sandy - I confess I had to brush a tear from the corner of my eye. Magic.

Summary:

A typical Dale start. A truly extraordinary finish.

One point behind Philladelphia with three games in hand - thankyou Bradford.

As I clapped Dale off the field, a light snow began to fall.

Turner Watch:

If you have seen or heard from Mr. Turner recently - please do let me know. Otherwise I will start a rumour that he was having his teeth whitened.

24/03/08