Sunday 29 November 2009

Rich Man/Poor Man



Rola Cola Sponsored English League Two
Rochdale AFC 2 - 1 Notts County FC

Journey

It's funny how the the fixture calendar works out.  Last year the Notts County home fixture followed on from the Dagenham away game as well.  Curiously also on a Tuesday night. 

There the similarities end.  Last season Dale went into the Notts County game off the back of an unlikely defeat - this time they go into the game on the back of a very unlikely win.  Last year Notts County were bumping along in the lower reaches of League Two - this year, flushed with cash from a publicity shy consortium of investors, the Magpie's have assembled League Two's answer to El Galacticos.  At the Meadow Lane helm is sometime British tabloid darling and fan of la dolce vita, Sven Goran Eriksson - and since Ian McParland was bundled to the exit, Sven's long time pal Hans Backe has been installed to do his masters sinister bidding.

Having proved to be a decent source of precious points in recent seasons, the Magpies had become a very different prospect this term.  Bouyed by a seemingly bottomless wallet, County are the league's top scorers.

Having made the tortuously slow trudge from Manchester in a torrential rain storm I finally arrived at Spotland with just minutes to spare.

Weather 

It has been a bit rainy up north recently.   Much of Cumbria is suffering the terrible effects of violent flooding and Carlisle's ground is under water.  Probably due to being perched on the Pennine's Rochdale has avoided being submerged - but it has seen it's fair share of the rain.  The Spotland ground staff once again worked wonders to ensure the game would go ahead - but the rain barely let up throughout the game.  Under the floodlights, supported by a swirling gale - it looked like someone was running a smoke machine.

Food

None - I was too busy gawping at Sven - he's looking a little pasty these days.  From the press box I could also see that there was a goodly selection of scouts out tonight.  Spurs and Blackburn had men there as did Hull - I was shoulder charged out of the way by Hull Manager Phil Brown whilst trying to pick up my press pass.  Incidentally, Phil Brown is the orangest thing I have seen since Tango stopped their award winning advertising campaign.


Away Support


Where were you when you were poor?  300 or so.


News 


Over and out?  The reason for Adam Rundle's absence at the weekend became clear yesterday.  He took advantage of the shuttle service to the Don Valley Stadium, he's out on loan for a month.


Action


Your team for tonight:


GK: Heaton
Def: Flynn, Stanton, Dawson, Wiseman
Mid: Buckley, Kennedy(J), Taylor, Atkinson
For: Dagnall, O'Grady


Bench: Taberner, McArdle, Toner, Brown, Spencer, Higginbotham


Holness had picked up a knock at the weekend meaning Stanton would return to the starting eleven after his four game ban.  Having collected his fifth yellow card of the season on Saturday, Tom Kennedy would sit tonight out - Wiseman would switch to left back, Flynn coming in at right back.  Buckley starts in the Dale midfield after his telling introduction on Saturday.


Mr. Miller indicated the start and in increasingly murky conditions both sides rolled forward.  The weather made for tough going, but Dale settled first and began to probe the Magpies defences.  Young Atkinson producing a Ronaldinho-esque sequence of drag backs to carve an opening.  Million pound man Kasper Schmeichel produced an excellent block from the resulting shot.

County were disappointingly static but could point to a header off the bar from Bishop and a curling shot from Westcarr which inched wide of the post, however Dale had more and better chances through both O'Grady and Dagnall.  Dagnall rapping the underside of the bar from 30 yards before the ball hammered into the ground - without the benefit of a Russian linesman on duty, it was adjudged not to have crossed the line.  

On the half hour County had a shot cleared off the line by Taylor and five minutes later they grabbed a slightly unlikely lead.  Atkinson lost the ball in the left back position and after a neat period of interplay the ball fell to Westcarr who drilled in a deep cross.  As Flynn tried to get between the ball and the advancing Davies, he misjudged and headed it past a flummoxed Heaton and into the back of his own net.  1-0 County.

However, just five minutes later - Dale were back on level terms.  Dagnall surged into the box and weaved around two players before Clapham stuck out a leg and brought him down.  The linesman may not have been Russian - but he had no doubt about indicating a penalty.  The next few minutes were slightly embarrasing.  Sven went uncharacteristically berserk.  The Notts County players followed suit - remonstrating with Mr. Miller for what seemed an age.  Unsurprisingly, Mr. Miller didn't change his mind.  Dagnall placed the ball on the spot.  Schmeichel picked it up and re-spoted it.  Dagnall re-seated it.  Schmeichel re-spotted it.  Mr. Miller intervened.  Dagnall put the ball down again.  The linesman cleared up Schneichel's confusion over the exact location of his line.  Dagnall advanced.  1-1!

Five minutes later embarrasment turned into pure comedy.  Stanton pumped the ball up field.  Lee and Hunt charged in to clear the danger, collided with one another and collapsed to the turf.  O'Grady was alert to the opportunity, rounded the cuddling couple, rounded a despairing lunge from Schmeichel and slotted the ball into the vacant net.  2-1 Dale!

Notts County kicked off.  Mr. Miller blew for half time.

My half time discussion with Mr. Culshaw was an odd one.  In spite of the financial inequalities - Dale were ahead.  The concern was - it simply couldn't last.  County had quality to burn and more to call on from the bench.  Dale couldn't even fill theirs and two of the six man bench were trainees.  It was just a matter of time before the Magpies struck.

They didn't disappoint.  The second half was pretty much all County.  Dale occasionally raided forward - but County had the majority of posession and with a howling wind at their backs they pushed Rochdale back again and again.  The thing was that as terrorised as Dale were at times, their resolve never cracked - Stanton and Dawson ensuring that Akinbiyi, Rodgers and later Ritchie were left with little room for manoeuvuer.  The majority of County's efforts were from range and were either wide of goal or comfortably dealt with by Heaton.  With minutes to go Dale survived a furious appeal for handball in the area and then to the collective surprise and relief of the Spotland faithful, Mr. Miller blew for full time.

The waggish elements inside Spotland offered some creative suggestions on where County might keep their wallets in future.  Personally I doubt that it would be possible - let alone practical.

Speak Your Brains

Your cast for tonight: Me

On my summer holiday I met a group of Notts County fans.  It was the day the news of Sven's appointment was announced.  They informed me that County were the biggest club in League 2 and furthermore that they were too big for this league anyway - they went on to point out that with their newly endowed millions they would win the league at a canter.  This one's for you boys.

This game was settled by mistakes.  Atkinson and Flynn combined to provide County's opener.  Clapham's lunge got Dale back on terms.  Hunt and Lee's misunderstanding sealed the deal.

Dale stay second and move to within a point of table toppers Bournemouth.

Saturday 28 November 2009

El Banditos

Rola Cola Sponsored English League 2
Dagenham and Redbridge FC 1-2 Rochdale AFC


Journey



Football is built on great rivalries: Manchester United and Liverpool, Real Madrid and Barcelona, Mansfield and Chesterfield (I'm not massively keen on Chesterfield myself).  These encounters are usually characterised by a special variety of venemous passion from the fans.  The term 'friendly rivalry' in football is rarely used and when it is, it comes from the same stable as being called 'pal' after you have just jogged a blokes elbow when making your way to the bar.


This one is a little bit different.  It is a friendly rivalry.  Very friendly.


It began in 2007 when the Daggers made their first trip to God's Country and Messers Evans and O'Shaughnessy made the pilgrimage north.  Dale won that day.  In 2008 Mr. Keane and I made the return journey, enjoying the hospitality of Mr. Cootes' branch of Hotel Paradiso.  It was a draw.  Later in 2008 Mr. Evans and an army of Spencer's made the trip north.  To a sound track of arguing Spencer's, the Dagger's disected a disorganised Dale side.  2009 saw an expanded Rochdale contingent (including Mr. Rigby) head south for a 'NOT stag do'.  To the soudtrack of an over enthusiastic Charlton fan who had temporarily converted to the church of Dale, Rochdale snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.


Win, lose or draw - these encounters have all been eagerly anticipated by the licensee trade in God's Country and the Principality of Essex.  There is a recession on you know.


08:00 hrs - God's Country - Messers Keane, Rigby, Mitchell and my good self headed south once again, Hotel Paradiso's doors are open, Licensee's in East London are rubbing their hands with glee, Dale are 3rd - the Daggers are top.  El Classico Del Sur, Es en!


Weather


Grey becoming greyer, interspersed with rain, eventually settling on - grey.  In truth the weather had perked up a bit from the heavy rain in previous days - but the changeable conditions and seemingly endless roadworks meant that progress was slow.  In spite of Mr. Mitchell pushing his wheels beyond the sound barrier near Watford Gap, we finally pitched up at Hotel Paradiso a little before 1pm.


Food


In each of our previous visits to the Principality of Essex we have eyed Brook's Pie and Mash shop from the forecourt of the Eastbrook public house (20 yards away) with studied interest.  Each year we agree that we will go in, each year the lure of London Pride bedevil's us. This year proved to be no different. 


Against the advice of Mr. Spencer I had a burger in the ground.  As with all things, Mr. Spencer had a point.


Ground


I have been subjected to most of the elements in the away end at Victoria Road - including unseasonable hail.  But not this year. Where once a rough and ready expanse of uncoverd concrete lay - a handsome modern stand reared up into the Essex sky.    A super view was had by the 300 or so Dale fans who had come down for League Two's game of the day.  It is comforting to know that Rochdale are not the only club who give up their newest, biggest and best stand - to the away fans.


News


Hokey-Cokey.  Young Mr. Stephens was despatched back down the A627 and Mr. Whaley was returned safe and sound to Delia Smith.  With Gary Jones continuing injury problems, Dale looked a little light in midfield. Then as if by magic, the shop keeper appeared.  Will Atkinson arrived from Hull on loan for a month and just a few hours later Jason Taylor - a transfer target for Mr. Hill last term - arrived from Rotherfield.  Also on a months loan. 


Action


Your team for today:


GK: Heaton
Def: Wiseman, Mc Ardle, Dawson, Kennedy(T)
Mid: Kennedy(J), Holness, Taylor, Atkinson
For: Dagnall, O'Grady


Bench: Taberner, Flynn, Toner, Brown, Buckley, Spencer, Higginbotham


Three loaners in the squad, a centre half in midfield and the apparrently fit Adam Rundle didn't even make the bench.  Probably not an ideal situation.


After three minutes things were very far from ideal.  Dagenham started much the brighter as Dale laboured with unfamilliar personel and unfamilliar positions.  Rochdale were simply herded into their own eighteen yard box as the Daggers drove forward.  As Dale reeled from the onslaught, Danny Green whipped a ball into the area, Rochdale defenders scattered in confusion and Peter Gain found himself with about one quarter of the pitch to himself.  His looping header floated over Heaton's dispairing flail.  1-0 Dagenham.


As I absorbed what had just happened, I turned to Mr. Rigby and told him that the goal was almost certainly his fault.  To my knowledge, Mr Rigby has never seen Rochdale win a game.  He is a jinx.  Thankfully he doesn't come very often.


Having get that off my chest, I looked down and to my left where a group of Dagenham yoof were entertaining the Rochdale fans with a selection of amusing ditties.  'WHO ARE YA!', 'WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE!', 'NORTHERN MONKEYS!' etc, etc.  What was a little suprising was that in the vanguard of the group - and leading the pointing and chanting - were Mr. Evans, Mr. O'Shaughnessy and Mr. Spercer the elder.  The sense of menace was slightly ruined by our associates smiling and waving when their youthful army were looking the other way.  Naturally, I waved back.  Kind of.


The balance of the half was horrible.  Dale barely managed a shot on goal - mostly on account of playing exclusively in their own half.  The Daggers created chance after chance to extend their lead including a half decent penalty shout, only chaotic defending from Dale somehow prevented further damage.  Dagnall did have the ball in the net for Dale - but the linesman's waving stick made any thoughts of celebration premature.


A collective sigh of relief from the Rochdale end greeted Mr. Stroud's half time whistle.  In spite of receiving a comprehensive footballing lesson, Rochdale were only one goal behind.

In the spirit of north/south bon hommie these encounters are famous for, Mr. Spencer, Mr. Spencer the younger and his colleague Claude had decided to join the Rochdale faithful at the start of the game.  This meant that I was lucky enough to recieve a detailed tactical post-mortem on Dale's first half trials from Mr. Spencer at half time.  What a treat.

Dale exchanged Mc Ardle for Buckley for the second half.  Dagenham were unimpressed and continued as they had in the first, Miller forcing a smart save from Heaton early in the half and Miller again minutes later when clean through on Heaton - thankfully he could only fire miles wide - I think it went out for a throw.

Encouragingly, the introduction of Buckley meant that Dale could actually break out of their own half.  His mazy running pushing the Daggers back for the first time in the match.  More encouragingly, Dagenham seemed to have run out of ideas.  By rights they should have been 3 or 4 to the good - but the lead was still just one goal - they looked frustrated and confused.

On the hour Higginbotham replaced Atkinson for Dale.  Minutes later the Dagenham captain, Thurgood, limped out of the game.  A minute later Dale were level.

Higginbotham picked up the ball on the right, he weaved this way and that looking for an option in the box, finding none he stepped inside and fired low towards the back post.  Roberts could only watch as the ball zipped past his outstretched fingers.  1-1!

The Dale fans barely had time to regain there seats before Rochdale took the lead.  A smartly taken corner forced Roberts into parrying the ball away from goal.  Sadly for Dagenham - straight into the path of Dawson who bundled the ball over the line.  2-1 Dale!

Dagenham were stunned.  In fairness so was I.  Dale had barely been in the game and now they were in the lead.  For the last twenty minutes Dale stroked the ball around as the Daggers toiled fruitlessly for an equaliser.  Dagenham's frustration with the bizarre reversal of fortunes boiled over late in the game when Thomas had a agricultural swipe at Dagnall.  Referee Stroud, who had put in a curiously inconsistent performance, had little doubt about producing a straight red card.

2-1 it ended.

Speak Your Brains

Your cast for today: Messers Evans, O'Shaughnessy, Chaffey, Stephenson, Claude, Keane, Mitchell, Rigby, Spencer, Spencer the younger, Cootes, Coupal - and probably a few more besides.  Oh, and me.

Last season Dale were the better side, and lost. This year Dale were awful for much of the game, and won.  It is, as Jimmy Greaves was so fond of saying, a funny old game.


Mr. Spencer offered a very detailed tactical explanation for Dale's highly unlikely victory - I feared he may be about to produce a whiteboard at one stage.  As insightful as Mr. Spencer's musings were - for once he was wrong.  The secret to Rochdale's success was Mr. Rigby putting his hood up.  Once the Rochdale players could no longer see our very own bad penny - things turned around quite nicely.

Dale's latest batch of loanee's did OK.  Atkinson has a few tricks, but looks a bit unfit.  Taylor was like a headless chicken in the first half - but turned in a better performance in the second.

Mr. Evans simply felt that Dagenham had been robbed today.  He was heard muttering darkly on several occasions on the broad theme of daylight robbery, highway men and banditry in general.  I smoothed down my moustache, adjusted my sombrero and smiled politely.

Dale go second.  Cripes.

With the incidental business of football out of the way, the serious business of supporting the local licensee trade commenced.  It's important to do your bit you know.

Sunday 15 November 2009

Ready or not


Rola Cola Sponsored English League 2
Rochdale AFC 2 - 3 Chesterfield FC


Journey


Men take no time at all to get ready.  Ladies take much, much longer.  These are known facts.  What few people appreciate is that children have the knack of not being ready - just when you really need them to be ready.  If you have children you may know the anguish of seeing your taxi to the airport arrive to discover that your child is no longer dressed in their smart holiday outfit - but is running around the kitchen wearing one sock, swimming trunks, a Batman cape and a tupperware bowl on their head.


Thus my journey begins.


In my continuing quest to seduce the innocent over to 'The Dale Side' I would be taking Mrs. Eden-Maughan and her associate Ms. Croney to the football this afternoon, along with her birthday boy son, Croney jnr, and her nephew Josh.  I arrived at the appointed hour.  I waited while presents were opened.  I waited while trousers were changed.  I waited while socks were put on.  I waited while coats were put on.  I waited while coats were discarded - and then put on again.  I waited through the false start a lack of shoes created.  I waited while shoes were put on.  I waited while more presents were delivered and then opened.  I waited while little actually seemed to be happening.  And then, quite without warning, everyone was ready.  I duly joined the queue of traffic which stretched all the way to the bottom of Roch Valley Way - and waited a bit more.


Weather


Pop upstairs.  Put the shower on - set it to the coldest setting.  Stand under the shower - no, don't bother getting undressed.  Are you with me?


Food


I used to do something in this section - no, it's gone again - probably not important.  Trousers continue to expand at an alarming rate.


Away Support


300-400.  Maybe a few more.  A feisty bunch who got into the 'Who Are Ya's!?!' before Referee Gibbs had even started the game.  That said, the 2,700 or so home fans gave pretty much as good as they got.  Today marked the biggest attendance of the season so far with 3011 souls in Spotland.


News


The heat is on.  So, Josh Lillis in goal for Bournemouth, Kenny Arthur in goal for Luton away, Danny Taberner in goal for Luton at home... and for today!  Highly fancied young keeper Tom Heaton made the trip round the M60 from Old Trafford to fill in between the sticks.  Heaton will be on loan at Spotland till the end of December.  Four keepers in four games - this may be some kind of Dale record.


Bo Selecta.  Toner's road to recovery is proving to be a long one.  Stanton sitting out game three of a four game ban following his shenanigins at Dean Court.  Rundle and Thompson both ruled out after pulling up on Wednesday night.  Buckley doubtful.  The only bright spot being the return of Wiseman.  Selection at Spotland these days is definitely not Bo.


Action 


Your team for today:


GK: Heaton
Def: Wiseman, McArdle, Dawson, Kennedy(T)
Mid: Stevens, Jones, Kenndy(J)
For: Whaley, O'Grady, Dagnall


Bench: Taberner, Holness, Flynn, Manga, Spencer, Higginbotham, Buckley


I arrived in the press box to be greeted by a wild eyed Mr. Culshaw.  'It's 4-3-3!' - although from his tone it sounded more like, 'We're All Doomed!'.  There is a good reason for this.  Every time Dale start 4-3-3 it goes a bit, well - wobbly.  History is littered with good (possibly bad) examples.  Maybe it was tactical, maybe it was due to the shortage of healthy wide men.  But 4-3-3 it was.  On the upside, Buckley would make the bench.  Mention should also be made of Dale hero's of yesteryear David Perkins and Tommy Lee returning to Spotland in Chesterfield colours today.  Perkins for the first time since that amazing day in 2008.  As they were introduced, the applause was both rich and genuine.


After real concern that Mr.Gibbs might call the game off after a day of torrential rain, smart work by the groundsmen ensured that despite the continuing wet and wild conditions the game kicked off as planned.


As now seems to be the tradition, Rochdale roared out of the blocks.  O'Grady almost making good on a Wiseman cross in the opening minute.  Whaley fired over.  Dagnall forced a couple of good saves from Tommy Lee and a man bearing an uncanny resemblance to Rory Mc Ardle was observed executing a flying bicycle kick inside the Spireites area.  Breathless stuff.


Therefore what happened on 25 minutes was a bit of a surprise.


Chesterfield had been very quite up to this point - it had been all Rochdale.  However, a Perkins free kick from just outside the Dale area found the Dale defence far from ready and Breckin lurking at the back post.  His nod down found perennial Rochdale tormentor Jack Lester - and from all of two yards, he wasn't to be denied.  Heaton was rotted to the spot.  Definitely not ready. 1-0 Chesterfield.


Dale had a decent chance to be back on level terms from the restart when Whalley had Lee beaten from long range - but his effort drifted just north of the bar.  Minutes later Dale were in deeper trouble.  Lee's goal kick was flicked on in midfield, Dawson wasn't ready for the extra zip the ball picked up off the wet surface and the extra yard saw Lester bearing down on goal.  Heaton sold himself cheaply.  Lester just doesn't miss a chance like that.  2-0 Chesterfield.


Dale looked on the verge of collapse.  The lack of width Dale's 4-3-3 provided meant that the Spirite's full back's had licence to romp forward at will.  The three man midfield was terrorised by Perkins and Allott.  Chesterfield were shooting at will.  It seemed like it could turn into a rout.


With five minutes to go Stevens made way for Buckley and trusty old 4-4-2 was reinstated.  The ship was steadied and half time duly arrived without further harm being inflicted.


I popped down to visit with my clutch of apprentice Dale fans at half time.  The reactions were mixed.  Croney jnr. and his cousin were somewhat disappointed.  Actually, they said it was 'rubbish'.  Nothing wrong with their eyes then.  On the other hand Ms. Croney had really enjoyed herself.  She was a bit unclear on the score but had learned the names of all the players with good legs.  Football is thankfully a broad church.

The second half put in an appearance.  But not for Gary Jones.  Dale's captain was withdrawn from the action - presumably due to injury - and replaced in central midfield by right full-back Matt Flynn.  The replacement of recognised central midfielder, Dale Steven's, before half time in favour of Buckley looked like a dreadful mistake.

Seven minutes later, the introduction of Buckley looked like pure genius.  Buckley had tested Lee within minutes of the restart and was giving the Spirite's full back, Mark Little, serious problems.  Chesterfield were simply not ready for Buckley's onslaught.  Dale piled on the pressure and got their reward on four minutes when a Buckley secured corner was whipped in by Tom Kennedy and parried into the path of Chris O'Grady.  From just short of 18 yards he produced a swerving shot which Lee was helpless to stop.  2-1!

Three minutes later, more Buckley induced chaos, another corner, another Kennedy delivery but this time the head and possibly one or two other bits of Craig Dawson did the damage.  2-2!

And that - as they say - was your lot from the Will Buckley show.  He carried on gamely trying to harass the Chesterfield back line - but his recent injuries and lack of training caught up with him ten minutes into the half.  He just looked worn out.

As Buckley faded, Chesterfield probed forward again.  A couple of speculative efforts followed and then just after the hour, Lester found himself in an indecent amount of space on the edge of the Dale area.  He slid the ball square to the feet of David Perkins, who side footed an effort towards goal.  The ball's erratic path - via two meaty deflections - left Tom Heaton completely powerless.  3-2 Chesterfield.

Dale applied themselves - Buckley, although exhausted, kept trying to work an opening.  Whaley would have a couple of decent efforts - one blocked away and one saved.  But Chesterfield were well set by now and content to let a jaded Rochdale side blown themselves out.

Speak Your Brains 

Your cast for today: Myself, Mr. Keane, Keane jnr., Mr. Mitchell, Mrs. Eden-Maughan, Ms. Croney, Croney jnr. and Josh.

The curse of 4-3-3 strikes again - Mr. Hill, please stop doing this.  It never works.  Look at the history!

O'Grady's first goal at Spotland - believe it or not - and what a goal!

According to Ms. Croney the heart-throb's of Dale are as follows (in reverse order):

Keith Hill (very nicely dressed)
David Flitcroft (very manly)
Will Buckley (very pretty)

AND THE WINNER IS...

Tom Kennedy - (very pretty and has good legs)

Tom Heaton looked like a bloke who had turned up yesterday and didn't really know anyone.  Pretty much bang on then.  He gets the benefit of the doubt this week.

Dale could have gone top today - as it is they slip to third.

Now to the serious business.  Next week - Dale vs. Daggers, El Classico Del Sur.  The Littleborough Debating and Choral Society will once again venture into the wild and lawless Principality of Essex.  Probably with hilarious consequences. 

Saturday 14 November 2009

Close up magic


Football Association Challenge Trophy: First Round Replay
Rochdale AFC 0 - 2 Luton Town FC



Journey



Have you seen 'close up magic'?  It is very clever stuff.  I met a bloke in a pub once who offered to show me a trick.  As far as I could tell we were just having a pleasant chat - when he casually produced my watch from his inside jacket pocket.  It seemed like magic.  I haven't checked this - but to the best of my understanding no one in the Rochdale Borough is actually a wizard - so it was a trick, a very good one, but a trick none the less.



On Sunday afternoon, Mr. Culshaw pulled a similar trick.  The phone rang mid afternoon.  It was Mr. Culshaw.  'What are you doing on Wednesday night?' - 'Nowt.'  'Can you commentate on the replay?' - 'Er, yeah, I guess.  I thought it was next Tuesday though?'.  'It's gonna be live on ITV4 - so they've moved it up' - 'Wow! - telly!'.  'Yeah - but don't tell anyone - it hasn't been announced yet' - 'OK'.



In spite of my ground state of complete apathy to the FAmous Cup - I was actually very excited.  Telly - at Spotland!  That should bring in a few quid - maybe Dale won't be forced into their normal discount fire sale of players in the new year.  Assuming Dale got past Luton - there's even more money to be had.  It seemed like magic.



Oh and as per Mr. Culshaw's instructions I didn't tell a soul.  Apart from all the people I told.



And so to tonight.  A quick trip up Roch Valley Way and onto Sandy Lane, drawn on by the blazing floodlight towers.  A jog up to the ground from where I had dumped my car, through a growing throng of excited Dale fans, past the soldiers with buckets - Rememberance Day today - emptied my pockets of change, press pass collected and in.



For those of you who watched on ITV4 - the gormless ape who came wandering out of the players tunnel looking slightly bewildered - that was me.



Weather



Rochdale weather is back!  Cold and damp.



Food



I was far too busy gawping at Robbie Earle doing his pre-match routine from the touchline to be bothered with pies.



Away Support



It's a long way from Bedforshire on damp Wednesday night so unsurprisingly - not that many.  Mr. Culshaw came up with the curiously precise figure of 119 away fans.  I suspect it was closer to 121.



News



Sweet 16.  With Kenny Arthur's trick back having failed to recover and Dale's second choice keeper, Matt Edwards, also injured; tonights goal keeping duties would fall to Danny Taberner.  At 16 years and 147 days, tonights appearance would make 'our Danny' Dale's youngest ever keeper.  On the bench was the even younger keeper, Jordan Andrews.  At the tender age of 15 he had to get permission from his headmaster to miss the last two lessons of the day so that he could join up with the team.



Action



Your team for tonight:



GK: Taberner
Def: Kennedy(T), Dawson, Mc Ardle, Holness
Mid: Rundle, Kennedy(J), Jones, Thompson
For: O'Grady, Dagnall



Bench: Andrews, Brizell, Flynn, Spencer, Byrne, Manga, Higginbotham



Just one change from Saturday's encounter for Dale.  'Our Danny' stepping in for the injured Kenny Arthur.  Will Buckley who had made a telling cameo on Saturday was deemed unfit for service and didn't even make the bench.  Luton on the other hand would make six changes from the team which started the game on Saturday.



Dale made it clear from the off that they wanted to get things wrapped up quickly.  Tom Kennedy smashing a shot towards the Luton goal in the opening seconds.  Only an improvised block from Shane Gore spared the Hatter's from very early embarrasment. 



As the half rolled on Dale hacked and slashed at the Luton defences.  Rundle and Kennedy making the Luton full-back's evening's a waking nightmare.  Chance after chance presented itself for Dale - but frantic defending and an inspired performance from Gore would ensure that Rochdale would be thwarted.



At the other end, 'Our Danny' had little to do -  Luton failing to produce a serious attempt on goal throughout the half - the Rochdale back four providing an almost impentrable shield for the youngster.  The only serious worry for Taberner was caused by an under cooked back pass from Dawson which the Hatter's Kevin Gallen sought to capitalise on.  As hearts lept into mouthes around Spotland - Taberner charged forward and hammered the ball away.  It deflected off Gallen and for an instant seemed to be heading goalward - but Tom Kennedy swept in to tidy up and the danger passed.



The half concluded with a flurry of efforts from Dale, Rundle seeing a close range effort parried and Dagnall having a bullet header cleared off the line. 



Dale were well and truly on top, but with the scoreline still locked at 0-0 quite who would be the happier manager at the interval was anybody's guess.  The highlights on TV were pretty impressive - although somewhat marred by an extreme close-up of an old man eating a pie.  This is a feature of all TV coverage of Rochdale AFC - no matter how impressive the performance on the field - the director always has to get some reference to Rochdale being a quaint little backwater in there.  Usually abetted by the commentary team who feel obliged to make some reference to 'dark, satanic mills'.  Which is apparently side splittingly funny if you live in the heathen south.



The second half got underway at a breathless pace.  With just seconds on the clock Dagnall smashed the ball against the bar, Gore well beaten, from 30 yards.  Dagnall would go close again minutes later when a slip by Alan White gave him a clean run at goal.  His resulting shot was once again well saved by Gore.  Thompson had two opportunities to head Dale into the lead and Dagnall once again found himself clean through on Gore - only for Gore to beat the effort away.



Now for a little close up magic...



On the hour Thompson smashed the ball goalward - it was going in - Spotland held it's breath - and then Pilkington palmed the ball off the line.  Rochdale arms were thrown skyward, Mr. Bates waved play-on, Gore bowled the ball forward to Burgess, Burgess slipped through Holness' tame challenge and fed the ball forward to Craddock, Craddock's near post cross found the prowling Gallen.  1-0 Luton.



My on air reaction said it all.  Silence - followed by 'Luton have scored?'.

The effect on Dale was stunning.  It was like a big lever had been flicked into the 'OFF' position.  The enforced substituations of Thompson and Rundle didn't help.  Their replacements, Manga and Higginbotham, struggled to make any impression on a Luton side, who bouyed by the goal,  were now very much on the march.

A Little over ten minutes after Luton's goal, Rochdale collapsed completely.  Tom Kennedy was caught dithering in his own area by Gallen, Gallen lashed an effort at goal but Mc Ardle managed to intervene and send the ball over the bar.  But the danger wasn't over.  From the resulting corner Pilkington headed the ball back accross goal, Taberner executed an acrobatic parry which I am sure he felt would go over the bar to safety.  It didn't.  It came straight back down and into the path of Gallen.  Gallen's knee cap did the rest.  2-0 Luton.

Shall I go on?  No, I don't think I will.

Speak Your Brains

Your cast for this evening: Me.

As I was making my way out I passed Robbie Earle handing a beaming Kevin Gallen the man of the match award - for get this - 'two great strikes'.  I wonder, Mr. Earle - were you watching the same game as the rest of us?

Shane Gore was trialling a new kit tonight - made entirely of velcro.  I think it could catch on.

As I wandered back to the car I heard some of the knowledgeable Spotland faithful pinning the defeat on Joe Thompson.  He did have two efforts which he probably should have put away - and but for a blatant hand ball could have won the game.  However, lest we forget - without young Joe, there would have been no game tonight.  No TV.  And none of their lovely cash.

After the game Keith Hill was probably wondering just where the second round tie with Rotherham had gone - it turned out it was in Luton manager Richard Money's inside jacket pocket all the time.  I imagine Mr. Hill's face was a picture.

I reflected on Saturday that the FA Cup is the 'opium of the people'.  Like any form of substance abuse - the come down can be pretty horrible.  Allegedly. 

Monday 9 November 2009

Opium of the people

Football Association Challenge Trophy: First Round
Luton Town FC 3 - 3 Rochdale AFC

Journey

'The FA Cup is the opium of the people'

Karl Marx (probably)

Does it make you a bad person not to love the FA Cup?  I don't hate it as such - but consider these facts:

The very best that Dale can hope for is a 'decent run', make a few bob, maybe even get some TV time out of it and then end up as cannon fodder for one of the 'Big Four's' youth team's.  All in all - pretty unsatisfying.

OK the money will come in handy - it always comes in handy for the minnows of league football.  But to actually win the shiny, jug eared thing?  Do me a favour!  I have more chance of enjoying an evening of wine and romance with Sheryl Cole.

Add to all that Dale's last 'decent run' in the cup - going all the way to the fifth round in 2002/3 - coincided with a nearly catastrophic collapse in league form, that saw Dale flirting with life outside of the football league.  Perhaps you begin to see why I am less than taken in by 'the magic of the cup'. 

However, at 09:30 I was waiting outside the club shop at Spotland - waiting to take on passengers: my co-commentator for today's game, Mr. Culshaw, Dale's cub reporter, Mr. Jones, and a man identified simply as 'Russ'.  I would like to tell you more about 'Russ', but in over six hours in my car I don't think he spoke once.  However, he did cough up his petrol money without complaint - so in my book he could do pretty much as he liked.

So you are asking, why is he going to the game if he doesn't like the FA Cup?  There are three reasons:  the last game I saw was Accrington - which was dreadful - so I needed something to wash away that memory, after the horror show at Dean Court last season, I decided not to bother this time around - what a good call that turned out to be!  (I can count the number of 4-0 away wins for Dale that I have seen on the fingers of my tail)  and finally, I really like Kenilworth Road - it is in fact one of my favourite grounds - so when the chance came to have another gawp, I simply couldn't resist.

Nothing to do with any 'magic of the cup' nonsense.

The journey itself was unremarkable: M62, M60, M62, M6, M1 bingo!  Mr. Culshaw's Sat Nav, named Jane in honour of my now deceased Sat Nav, did Sat Navy things with quite efficiency - unlike her dearly departed, fruit bat aunty

On our brief lay over at Watford Gap we had the good fortune to meet a group of Macc Town fans who were on their way to Milton Keynes.  We talked about our seasons so far and the importance of getting a 'decent run' to bolster our respective club's slender finances.  After a few moments we bid our farewell's - one Macc fan quipping 'see you in the final then'.  What was deeply alarming was the complete lack of irony in his voice.  He really seemed to believe it.  What did I tell you: opium of the people...   

Weather

Pouring down in Rochdale, but as we left God's Country, the skies cleared and the sun came out.  For any readers from outside the North of England, it is easy to find God's Country on a map - it is the bit under the big cloud.

Food 

I came to Kenilworth Road last season.  It was Luton's last home game in the Football League.  From memory they put on a fantastic selection of sandwiches.  The new realities of the Blue Square Premier League seem to have bitten hard - specifically into the sandwiches - because there was none.  Plenty of free tea and coffee though - so not a complete disaster.

Ground

The hour or so before kick-off was taken up with myself and Mr. Culshaw arguing.  Arguing about Kenilworth Road.  Mr. Culshaw asserts that the afore mentioned ground is something of a dump which should probably be condemned - for the asbestos content of the rooves if nothing else.  Unusually for my esteemed commentary partner - he is of course completely wrong.  Kenilworth Road is brilliant.  Sure, no two bits of it match or for that matter join up.  OK the corporate boxes look like holiday chalets - actually, I think they probably once were holiday chalets.  But that is just the point! 

It sort of reminds me of my own efforts at DIY - not pretty, not exactly straight, probably would have benefitted from a bit more patience - but it does a job and it will almost certainly last forever.  Possibly.  I love the place.

News 

Night of the living dead.  Well, more like the walking wounded.  Kenny Arthur, Garry Jones, Will Buckley, Scott Wiseman and long term sick note Ciaran Toner have all been keeping the treatment table warm in recent days.  I got there specially early today - well, you just never know do you?

Fizz Swizz.  Keith Hill nominated for the League Manager of the Month award for October.  Said award is a silver plated replica of a bottle of the dental professions favourite soft drink.  Apart from being cursed, it is also devoid of any cola drink.  What a jip.

Permission denied.  Oldham have declined to let Mrs. Stevens little boy come out and play in the FAmous Cup.  Taking their lead, Delia Smith has decided that young Simon Whaley can't come out either.  However, to show that they aren't completely neurotic parents - Oldham have allowed little Chris O'Grady to come to the party today.

What a performance.  In recognition of the 4-0 demolition of Bournemouth last weekend, Dale have been awarded the League Two performance of the week award.  Quite how it will fit in the cabinet next to all the other silver wear is quite beyond me.

Action 

GK: Arthur

Def: Mc Ardle, Holness, Dawson, Kennedy(T)
Mid: Thompson, Kennedy(J), Jones, Rundle
For: Dagnall, O'Grady


Bench: Taberner, Brizell, Flynn, Manga, Buckley, Spencer, Higginbotham


There had been specualtion that 16 year old trainee Danny Taberner might have to deputise between the sticks due to Kenny Arthur's trick back - but some oblique quizzing of Dale's coaching staff revealed that he had been passed fit and would play.  Likewise for Gary Jones, and Will Buckley would start the game on the bench.


Two things would define the first 45 minutes:  Kenny Arthur's back and Rory Mc Ardle's legs.


It became pretty clear in the opening seconds that in spite of passing a fitness test, Kenny Arthur was far from fit.  He shuffled about his area with a pained stoop and delegated goal kicks to anyone who happened to be near enough.


Adam Newton and Kevin Gallen had clearly done their homework on Dale's right full-back.  Pace and manoeuvrability are not Rory's strongest suits.  Newton and Gallen whirled around him like a pair of cheetah's tormenting a wildebeest.

It took just four minutes for Dale's defensive mobility issues to be cruely exposed.

The Hatters Burgess picked the ball up on the halfway line, nutmegged Kennedy and drove onward.  A neat pass found Newton who undid the already dizzy Mc Ardle and slipped the ball forward to Gallen who launched a pacy cross into the box.  Arthur had just about enough manoeuverabilty to watch the ball fly into the back of his net from a close range Basham header.  1-0 Luton.

Dale rallied and good efforts from Dagnall, Jones, Rundle and O'Grady followed.  But on 21 minutes it all went wrong - again.  Burgess once again started the move from midfield, picking out Newton on the Luton left.  Mc Ardle was predictably undone and Arthur was predictably immobile.  Newton's cheeky chipped finish from twenty yards did the rest.  2-0 Luton.

Resplendent in their orange shirts, Luton were stroking the ball around like Cruyff's boys of '74.  So, it wasn't a great surprise when Basham popped up on the edge of the area on thirty minutes to hammer home another for the Hatters.  3-0 Luton.  

The fact that Dale managed to get to half time without further disaster was little short of magical - not the kind of 'magic of the cup' pundit's glibly witter on about - but magic nontheless.  The first half had been dreadful.  Dale could have no complaints.  They had been systematically 'done' by a very capable Luton eleven.

Had there been any opium going -  there would probably have been more than a few takers amongst the 355 travelling fans.  Dale were going out of the cup and anything to dull the pain of another 45 minutes of footballing purgatory would be more than welcome.


The half time chat in the commentary box was all about changes.  Kenny Arthur had barely made it off the pitch at the whistle - he would certainly be subbed for Taberner.  Mc Ardle had been pretty comprehensively worked out by Luton and would almost certainly be changed - probably for Flynn.  All good, logical stuff.  And all wrong.  There would be no changes.  Mr. Hill had another plan. A much simpler plan.  Holness swapped with Mc Ardle - and Dale would play the second period in the Luton half - thus protecting the hobbling Kenny Arthur.  Like I said - simple.

Things didn't start exactly to plan - Luton rattled the post in the opening seconds - but then Dale settled to their task.  O'Grady having a glorious chance on 50 minutes - but with the goal at his mercy, he could only fire over the bar.

Just before the hour Dale had a freekick on the edge of the Hatters area.  While everyone took their places O'Grady departed the field for Buckley and Rundle made way for Higginbotham.  Kennedy (T) delivered, Mc Ardle connected with his head, Dawson stuck out a leg and it was in!  3-1.

So, the trip home would be a little better.  But - there would be none of that 'magic of the cup' mumbo jumbo.  Oh no.  Dale were still going to lose and I would get to do my 'opium of the people' monologue (long version) all the way back to God's Country.         

Dale seemed to have other ideas though.  They kept the ball well away from Kenny Arthur and continued to create chances - the best of which being a driving run from Gary Jones concluding with a thumping drive, which was well saved by Gore who then leapt back to his feet to parry Will Buckley's follow up. 

Dale were playing really well by now - but Luton were defending in depth and with the confidence a two goal lead brings.  As the minutes slipped by I was preparing an extra 'long version' - which would probably conclude with something about being free to concentrate on the league.

With just over five minutes left, Tom Kennedy overlapped on the left and flashed a cross into the area where young Joe Thompson stooped to head the ball past a wrong footed Gore.  3-2.

Erm...  Surely not.  That 'magic' stuff is just for the hopelesly deluded.  Not me - 'long version' it is.

The minutes and then the seconds began to drain away - Dale pushed hard for an equaliser - but the Hatters were having none of it.  A fistful of great chances came and went and the 90th minute duly arrived.  No 'magic' here - no sir.

...and then Buckley broke forward down the left, neatly laying the ball off to Jones who charged to the byline and unleashed a pin-point cross onto the head of the only Dale player in the box - young Joe Thompson.  From just a couple of yards out, he couldn't miss.  3-3!

355 Dale fans went berserk behind the goal Joe had just scored in.  Myself, Mr. Culshaw and Mr. Jones jumped up, fists aloft, screaming - and then remembered just exactly where we were.  The commentary box is in the middle of the main stand, enclosed by a low wall.  As one man, we glanced backwards to see 1000 or so stoney Lutonian faces.  As one man, we quietly slipped back behind the safety of our wall.

Four minutes of added time - but 3-3 it remained.

Speak Your Brains

Your cast for today: Myself, Mr. Culshaw, Mr. Jones and Russ

As we drove back north we got word that Keith Hill had missed out on the cursed Manager of the Month award.  That was a relief.

Mr. Culshaw spent a good deal of the trip home trying to find out when the draw for the second round would be - using his fancy voice recognising Google search thingy.  In the end he didn't find out - mostly due to the inability of the Google thingy to recognise what he was saying.  For a giggle he asked it to search for 'John and Edward'.  It came back with a list of German Airports. 

Today was an amazing performance.  Amazingly bad in the first half, amazingly good in the second.  By rights, the game was over at half time - Dale were down and out.  The decision not to make changes was brave but incredibly risky.  Had things gone differently I am sure Mr. Hill would have been roundly criticized.  As it turned out it was pure genius.

Those who habitually condemn Joe Thompson for one reason or another all got free pie for their tea.  Humble pie.

Have I changed my mind about the FA Cup?  Not really.  One of the Big Four will almost certainly win it,  Dale will definitely not win it.  The FA Cup is still a distraction from the important business of escaping English football's bottom rung.  But, Dale do have a home replay - which will bring in some much needed cash and maybe a big name tie to follow if they see off Luton second time around.  All that said, when that third goal went in - just for a minute or two I really did believe Rochdale could go all the way to Wembley.  Like I said, opium of the people - even I got a bit giddy - just for a little while anyway.