Close up magic

Football Association Challenge Trophy: First Round Replay

Rochdale AFC 0 - 2 Luton Town FC

Journey

Have you seen 'close up magic'?  It is very clever stuff.  I met a bloke in a pub once who offered to show me a trick.  As far as I could tell we were just having a pleasant chat - when he casually produced my watch from his inside jacket pocket.  It seemed like magic.  I haven't checked this - but to the best of my understanding no one in the Rochdale Borough is actually a wizard - so it was a trick, a very good one, but a trick none the less.

On Sunday afternoon, Mr. Culshaw pulled a similar trick.  The phone rang mid afternoon.  It was Mr. Culshaw.  'What are you doing on Wednesday night?' - 'Nowt.'  'Can you commentate on the replay?' - 'Er, yeah, I guess.  I thought it was next Tuesday though?'.  'It's gonna be live on ITV4 - so they've moved it up' - 'Wow! - telly!'.  'Yeah - but don't tell anyone - it hasn't been announced yet' - 'OK'.

In spite of my ground state of complete apathy to the FAmous Cup - I was actually very excited.  Telly - at Spotland!  That should bring in a few quid - maybe Dale won't be forced into their normal discount fire sale of players in the new year.  Assuming Dale got past Luton - there's even more money to be had.  It seemed like magic.

Oh and as per Mr. Culshaw's instructions I didn't tell a soul.  Apart from all the people I told.

And so to tonight.  A quick trip up Roch Valley Way and onto Sandy Lane, drawn on by the blazing floodlight towers.  A jog up to the ground from where I had dumped my car, through a growing throng of excited Dale fans, past the soldiers with buckets - Rememberance Day today - emptied my pockets of change, press pass collected and in.

For those of you who watched on ITV4 - the gormless ape who came wandering out of the players tunnel looking slightly bewildered - that was me.

Weather

Rochdale weather is back!  Cold and damp.

Food

I was far too busy gawping at Robbie Earle doing his pre-match routine from the touchline to be bothered with pies.

Away Support

It's a long way from Bedforshire on damp Wednesday night so unsurprisingly - not that many.  Mr. Culshaw came up with the curiously precise figure of 119 away fans.  I suspect it was closer to 121.

News

Sweet 16.  With Kenny Arthur's trick back having failed to recover and Dale's second choice keeper, Matt Edwards, also injured; tonights goal keeping duties would fall to Danny Taberner.  At 16 years and 147 days, tonights appearance would make 'our Danny' Dale's youngest ever keeper.  On the bench was the even younger keeper, Jordan Andrews.  At the tender age of 15 he had to get permission from his headmaster to miss the last two lessons of the day so that he could join up with the team.

Action

Your team for tonight:

GK: Taberner

Def: Kennedy(T), Dawson, Mc Ardle, Holness

Mid: Rundle, Kennedy(J), Jones, Thompson

For: O'Grady, Dagnall

Bench: Andrews, Brizell, Flynn, Spencer, Byrne, Manga, Higginbotham

Just one change from Saturday's encounter for Dale.  'Our Danny' stepping in for the injured Kenny Arthur.  Will Buckley who had made a telling cameo on Saturday was deemed unfit for service and didn't even make the bench.  Luton on the other hand would make six changes from the team which started the game on Saturday.

Dale made it clear from the off that they wanted to get things wrapped up quickly.  Tom Kennedy smashing a shot towards the Luton goal in the opening seconds.  Only an improvised block from Shane Gore spared the Hatter's from very early embarrasment. 

As the half rolled on Dale hacked and slashed at the Luton defences.  Rundle and Kennedy making the Luton full-back's evening's a waking nightmare.  Chance after chance presented itself for Dale - but frantic defending and an inspired performance from Gore would ensure that Rochdale would be thwarted.

At the other end, 'Our Danny' had little to do -  Luton failing to produce a serious attempt on goal throughout the half - the Rochdale back four providing an almost impentrable shield for the youngster.  The only serious worry for Taberner was caused by an under cooked back pass from Dawson which the Hatter's Kevin Gallen sought to capitalise on.  As hearts lept into mouthes around Spotland - Taberner charged forward and hammered the ball away.  It deflected off Gallen and for an instant seemed to be heading goalward - but Tom Kennedy swept in to tidy up and the danger passed.

The half concluded with a flurry of efforts from Dale, Rundle seeing a close range effort parried and Dagnall having a bullet header cleared off the line. 

Dale were well and truly on top, but with the scoreline still locked at 0-0 quite who would be the happier manager at the interval was anybody's guess.  The highlights on TV were pretty impressive - although somewhat marred by an extreme close-up of an old man eating a pie.  This is a feature of all TV coverage of Rochdale AFC - no matter how impressive the performance on the field - the director always has to get some reference to Rochdale being a quaint little backwater in there.  Usually abetted by the commentary team who feel obliged to make some reference to 'dark, satanic mills'.  Which is apparently side splittingly funny if you live in the heathen south.

The second half got underway at a breathless pace.  With just seconds on the clock Dagnall smashed the ball against the bar, Gore well beaten, from 30 yards.  Dagnall would go close again minutes later when a slip by Alan White gave him a clean run at goal.  His resulting shot was once again well saved by Gore.  Thompson had two opportunities to head Dale into the lead and Dagnall once again found himself clean through on Gore - only for Gore to beat the effort away.

Now for a little close up magic...

On the hour Thompson smashed the ball goalward - it was going in - Spotland held it's breath - and then Pilkington palmed the ball off the line.  Rochdale arms were thrown skyward, Mr. Bates waved play-on, Gore bowled the ball forward to Burgess, Burgess slipped through Holness' tame challenge and fed the ball forward to Craddock, Craddock's near post cross found the prowling Gallen.  1-0 Luton.

My on air reaction said it all.  Silence - followed by 'Luton have scored?'.

The effect on Dale was stunning.  It was like a big lever had been flicked into the 'OFF' position.  The enforced substituations of Thompson and Rundle didn't help.  Their replacements, Manga and Higginbotham, struggled to make any impression on a Luton side, who bouyed by the goal,  were now very much on the march.

A Little over ten minutes after Luton's goal, Rochdale collapsed completely.  Tom Kennedy was caught dithering in his own area by Gallen, Gallen lashed an effort at goal but Mc Ardle managed to intervene and send the ball over the bar.  But the danger wasn't over.  From the resulting corner Pilkington headed the ball back accross goal, Taberner executed an acrobatic parry which I am sure he felt would go over the bar to safety.  It didn't.  It came straight back down and into the path of Gallen.  Gallen's knee cap did the rest.  2-0 Luton.

Shall I go on?  No, I don't think I will.

Speak Your Brains

Your cast for this evening: Me.

As I was making my way out I passed Robbie Earle handing a beaming Kevin Gallen the man of the match award - for get this - 'two great strikes'.  I wonder, Mr. Earle - were you watching the same game as the rest of us?

Shane Gore was trialling a new kit tonight - made entirely of velcro.  I think it could catch on.

As I wandered back to the car I heard some of the knowledgeable Spotland faithful pinning the defeat on Joe Thompson.  He did have two efforts which he probably should have put away - and but for a blatant hand ball could have won the game.  However, lest we forget - without young Joe, there would have been no game tonight.  No TV.  And none of their lovely cash.

After the game Keith Hill was probably wondering just where the second round tie with Rotherham had gone - it turned out it was in Luton manager Richard Money's inside jacket pocket all the time.  I imagine Mr. Hill's face was a picture.

I reflected on Saturday that the FA Cup is the 'opium of the people'.  Like any form of substance abuse - the come down can be pretty horrible.  Allegedly.