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Rochdale AFC 1 - 0 Aldershot Town FC

Journey

I was meant to go to Port Vale. It was all planned - and then - cricket happened. On balance I wish I had gone to Port Vale. The weather at Headingly was good, but the cricket was bobbins. In spite of seeing David Gower, Ian Botham, Bob Willis, David Lloyd, Mark Nicholas and Shane Warne (who was having a sneaky fag behind the commentary box) - the remorseless progress of the Australian batsmen followed by a limp, timorous response from England meant that my first visit to an Ashes test was a bit rubbish. I should have gone to Port Vale. I really should.

I nearly went to Sheffield Wednesday - but work meant that I couldn't - and all things considered it was probably a bit of a mercy that I didn't. So today would be my first game of the season. After last term where I went to every game - yes,I really did - I felt like a bit of a part timer.

As I strolled towards Wilbutts Lane in a thickening tide of Dale fans I met Mr. Keane and Keane jnr. making their way to the ground. Over a bag of chips outside the Wilbutts Chippy we discussed the prospects for the season and the likelihood that the new shirts might finally be available for sale. Mr. Keane's view on the season was that it would be tough - with slender prospects of repeating the heroics of the last two years . A shortage of cash has meant that signings for Dale have been as rare as sightings of Osama Bin Laden - this on the back of a very aggressive clear out at the end of last season. We have some exciting youngsters on the books - but as Alan Hansen said, 'You win nothing with kids' - hang on! he got that horribly wrong didn't he. Just maybe eh?...

On the subject of shirts, the controversial shift from sportswear leviathan, Nike, to the unloved Cabrini brand has back-fired horribly. In the second week of the season Cabrini have failed to deliver a single shirt of saleable quality e.g the purple and white away shirt becomes purple and lilac after one wash. In these circumstances Premier League clubs would probably be a bit red-faced and issue a meaningless apology to their fans - but for Rochdale the loss of such an important source of ackers is deeply troubling. Myself and Mr. Keane would have forked over £160 today - I am sure we weren't on our own. The lesson for Rochdale AFC seems to be - buy cheap, pay twice - or worse.

Having wandered past the club shop (population: two tumble weeds) and exchanged pleasantries with Rochdale's very own international man of mystery, Playboy Dan, I pressed on to the main entrance to collect my press pass.

With press pass in hand - whilst uttering dark oathes against Rochdale's press officer, Mr. Ashworth (it was amusingly addressed to Mr. Edam-Cheese - it's funny because it sounds slightly like my name - apparrently) - I slipped through the side door, onto the players tunnel, past the dressing rooms (I'm not saying our squad are on the young side this term - but our new right back was being burped in the corridor) and out into bright sunshine next to the lush green of the pitch.

It's good to be back. Let's start.

Weather

Heavy, grey billows shrouded Rochdale this morning - punctuated by longish spells of horizontal rain. However, as the clock edged towards 3pm the clouds parted and we were treated to warm sunshine - accompanied by a blustery wind. Good footballing weather.

Food

So, I'm back on match commentary duties again. Considering my performance last term I can only assume that there were no other candidates available to support Mr. Culshaw - however, I'm not complaining. I get a great seat, I get to waffle on about football and of course there is the half time press buffet...

Erm, well, about that. Presumably due to the lack of replica shirt sales, the half time buffet has been canned. Cabrini you have a lot to answer for - an awful lot.

Away Support

Limited - 200 tops. It's a long way from the deep south.

News

The end of last season saw the departure of James Spencer, Mark Jones, Sam Russell, Nathan D'Laryea, Scott Wiseman, Lee Thorpe and Tom Newey was returned to Grimsby - with luck we will get a credit note for defective merchandise. Higginbotham, McEvilly & Keltie were transfer listed.

McEvilly was subsequently released and after the surprising transfer of Ramsden to Bradford, Wiseman was re-signed. Happily Higginbotham remains on the books - disappointingly, so does the wage bill that is Clark Keltie.

...and then the big surprise. Jason Kennedy. In the midst of a deepening financial crisis at Darlo Mr. Hill swooped in and snagged one of the best centre mid players in the league. All Dale fans recall with mixed emotions those two goals he scored against us - surely a great addition to the team.

Mr. Hill also brought in Accrington Stanley's Kenny Arthur and Leeds United's Matt Edwards to cover the now vacant goal keeping berth.

After that little flurry of activity, nothing happened for weeks - amid rumours of a cash crisis at Dale. However, the £1m+ transfer of Dale old boy Rickie Lambert from Bristol Rovers to Southampton - invoking a substantial sell on clause for Dale - sparked hope that signings were on the way.

So it was something of a surprise when the next news was the departure of St. Adam of LeFondre to semi-annual bankruptcy dodgers, Rotherham. Down the years I have made no secret of my admiration for my fellow Stopfordian and it was desperately diappointing to see him go - but cash being king these days the move makes sense - and it resolves that rather irksome question of whether to play Dagnall or LeFondre once and for all.

Since then Dale have been busy in the transfer market. The arrival of ex-Everton striker Scott Spencer on non-contract terms along with the loan signings of defender Matt Flynn from Macclesfield and midfielder Dale Stevens from Oldham have bolstered a squad weakened by longish layoff's for McArdle (dislocated shoulder) and Toner (shin splints). But just days after Notts County shelled out a reported £750,000 on Kasper Schmeichel (not to mention footing the bill for Sven's instatiable appetite for 'company') you have to wonder if a free and a couple of loaners is anywhwere near enough.

Action

Your team for today:

GK: Arthur

Def: Flynn, Stanton, Dawson, Kennedy(T)

Mid: Thompson, Kennedy(J), Jones, Rundle

For: Dagnall, Buckley

Bench: Edwards, Wiseman, Holness, Stevens, Spencer, Shaw, Higginbotham

So after the disappointment of the opening day where the Valiants were gifted a penalty which earned them a share of the points and a fairly comprehensive drubbing at the hands of Sheffield Wednesday in the Additive Rich, Pop Trophy - Dale needed to make a point - or three. And no sooner had Mr. Gibbs indicated the start, Gary Jones hammered a shot just north of the bar - indicating Dale's intentions.

However, things quickly calmed down and the next fifteen minutes were pretty inconclusive as both sides sought to contain and break.

Then on the fifteen minute mark the incident of the first half unfolded. A Shot's counter attack released Marvin Morgan who was being marked by Stanton. Stanton looked favourite to win the ball - but some how allowed Morgan to get the wrong side of him - Morgan broke clear with only Arthur to beat - Stanton dropped him like a surplus mill chimney. Mr Gibbs had little choice or doubt - a straight red card. Stanton flounced off down the tunnel taking his frustration out on a helpless bag of spare football's.

Mr. Hill swiftly made changes - the luckless Rundle making way for Holness, who slotted in at centre half. Buckley switched to left midfield - leaving Dagnall to plough a loan furrow upfront.

Marvin Morgan had proved to be something of thorn in Dale's side both home and away last season - scoring in both encounters. The next twenty minutes of the half saw Morgan create an embarrasing level of chaos in the Dale rear-guard. However, as half time appoached and with the tie still level at 0-0, Messers. Holness and Dawson seemed to be getting the measure of the Aldershot target man. As Mr. Gibbs checked his watch Dagnall produced Dale's best effort of the half - which slid just wide of the back post.

Half time. Mr. Golden Gamble whipped the crowd into something approaching a frenzy - if polite indifference counts as a frenzy - and Mr. Culshaw and I reflected on what was to come: Aldershot would surely come out in the second half and seek to hammer Rochdale into the lush Spotland turf. A draw was really the best we could possibly hope for.

Mr. Hill, clearly had other ideas. In the manner of the metaphorical wounded animal - Dale attacked! Aldershot reeled back as Rochdale tore into their back line - forcing a goal-line clearance from a Buckley thunderbolt.

Aldershot looked deeply confused - this was not what was meant to happen at all. It took them twenty minutes to produce a serious effort on goal - which saw a great save from Arthur deny Kirk Hudson from 18 yards.

Substitutions followed - Wiseman for the rather excellent Matt Flynn on 68 and the Shot's Chalmers made way for Grant on 80. As the half drew towards a close it seemed that perhaps Dale might just sneak a point - Aldershot's forray's forward became fewer and less committed and the makeshift Dale rear-guard had Morgan well an truly under control.

As the board went up to indicate 3 minutes of added time - Mr. Culshaw indicated that I could do my shameless plug of this blog - probably as a sweetner for the total lack of buffet. I only managed about five words. Just as I started to speak, Chris Dagnall - who had had a thankless task against the Shot's centre halves, Blackburn and Hinshelwood, to this point - found some space and lashed an effort goalward. The ball crashed against Hinshelwood's arm - dead centre of the penalty area - Mr. Gibbs looked, Mr. Gibbs blew, Mr. Gibbs pointed. Penalty.

Kennedy(T) stepped forward and as 94 minutes clicked over, smashed the ball past Jaimez-Ruiz. 1-0 Dale!

Seconds later Mr. Gibbs blew the final whistle. What a start to my season. What a start!

In the Ratcliffe

In years gone by, this area of the report was turned over to Mr. Turner crazy antics. However, due to his inconsistent appearances I ended up making up all kinds of stuff to cover for him - although I don't think many people noticed - even when I said he had won a Brit Award, run for US Vice President and played for AC Milan.

This season we ring the changes and introduce a new section, 'In the Ratcliffe'. This will summarise the views of which ever wise monkey's drift into the back bar of the Ratcliffe Arm's after the game - and speak their brains.

This weeks cast are: myself, Mr. Mitchell, Mr. Keane and Keane jnr.

• 
  
  The new home kit looks well - shame you can't buy one.
  
  
  
• 
  
  It was no more a penalty than the one last week - but that's karma I guess.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Stanton deserved to go - he had an armful of Morgan's shirt.
  
  
  
• 
  
  In spite of the message board chatter slamming the signing of Matt Flynn from Macc - 'Macc Reject' was the general theme - he turned in a solid if unspectacular performance.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Dawson was awesome (poetry?) - who knew a centre half could consistently pick out a man from 40 yards? - like a young Rio Ferdinand according to Mr. Keane.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Thompson has bulked up and discovered the ability to go forward over the summer - which can only be good things.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Jones was observed out-pacing people - training with all these wain's obviously has some advantages.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Dagnall ran, and ran, and ran - in spite of close attention (in some countries it would count as assault) from the Shot's centre backs - he never gave up and in the end carved out the opportunity for Dale's winner. A gritty performance.
  
  
  
• 
  
  We would have gone on - but on the big screen Denilson produced one of the prettiest goals I have ever seen for Arsenal against Everton - after which we all became slightly distracted and moved onto Arsenal's prospects this season.
  
  
  

Stand by for more semi-informed opinion in the coming weeks.

About a boy

Aldershot Town FC 2 - 4 Rochdale AFC

Journey:

Ok, I admit it. I have become a plaything of the media. After my appearance on Roch Valley Radio for Tuesday night's visit of Notts County, I would be once again slipping into the commentary chair for todays game at Aldershot.

I want to be completely clear on this:- my unexpected spell in the spotlight has not changed me - not one bit. Although I would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight on a few things:

- That was not me stumbling out of a Rochdale nightclub with Noel Gallagher.

- I have not agreed to a lucrative picture story deal with Hello magazine.

- Kelly Brook and I are just friends.

- The story in tomorrows News of the World entitled 'My Pie Hell' is grossly exagerated.

09:00 hrs, Club Shop, Spotland. With Mr. Culshaw installed in the shotgun position, The Daleworld commentary team of Mr. Brookes and Mr. Ashworth stowed in the back and Jane in an unusually cooperative mood, I departed God's Country once more for the balmier climes of the heathen south.

M62, M60, M6, M6 Toll, M42, M40, M3 all accompanied by the random output of my I-Pod. I suspect that Mr. Culshaw had been tipped off about my I-Pod by Mr. Keane as I detected more than one or two instances of tooth sucking as we ploughed southwards. Well, that or I genuinely have the worst taste in music in the English speaking world. Which - let's face it - it is highly unlikely. Clearly a conspiracy...

We broke our journey at Warwick Services. As Mr. Brookes tucked into a cooked breakfast, Messers Culshaw and Ashworth inhaled a family sized bucket of fried chicken and I nibbled on a Ryvita, thinly smeared with low fat spread (probably), the conversation turned to our collective obsession. Rochdale Football Club.

The disappointment at Dagenham, the triumph over Notts County and our prospects for this season in general. During this conversation a point of disagreement emerged. Joe Thompson. Mr. Brookes and Mr. Culshaw maintained that he has had a good season and that there is much more to come. Mr. Ashworth and I remained far from convinced.

For me Thompson seems a little lightweight, good going forward against indifferent defenders but weak in the tackle and apt to get bullied out of the game by more experienced defenders. He clearly has talent - but needs to toughen up to really make a mark in League Two.

I'm glad I only had the Ryvita - because there was a big slice of humble pie out there with my name on it.

Weather:

We arrived in the Deep South to clear skies and warm sunshine. However, just before kick-off a light overcast rolled in and the temperatures slumped. So much for the balmy south.

Food:

Being fully sated after my Ryvita at Warwick Services - which I confess some observers may have confused with a burger and chips - which is an easy mistake to make - I wasn't in the mood for further sustinance. However, there was a good selection of food on offer at the Recreation Ground. Burgers, hot dogs and a rather splendid looking roasted hog - available sliced, with stuffing, in a muffin. I imagine that one of the locals had 'rassled' it to the ground this very morning. I think grits may have been available as a side. Now that's good eatin' boy!

Ground:

Mr. Brookes mentioned that he had been to the Recreation Ground sometime during the early '90's. It was just as he remembered.

Aldershot's ground is a peculiar affair. It feels like it was assembled from the back of colourful wagons by men wearing neckerchieves. The on-site bar was held in position by 2 tonne bags of sand. I kept expecting to walk round a corner and find a ferris wheel, a merry-go-round and a hoopla stall. Quite charming in a funny sort of way.

What I couldn't argue with however, was the pitch. Quite the most beautifully kept stretch of greenery I have seen this season - and I have seen a few. Absolutely immaculate.

Action:

No signings, no departures, no changes - I should probably just get on with it then eh...

A tentative start from both sides. Rochdale getting slightly the better of the opening minutes. However, Aldershot began to apply themselves to the task and forced Dale back to the edge of their area - causing a number of potentially costly defensive errors. However, the danger passed without a serious effort from the Shot's.

Dale had begun the game with Buckley and Dagnall upfront, Adams on the left, Thompson on the right. What followed was a bit like the pea and shell game. The Rochdale front four switched places back and forth again and again. The effect on the Aldershot back line must have been dizzying. Dizzying indeed.

When Nicky Adams delivered a corner kick on 17 minutes nobody seemed to notice that Joe Thompson had sloted in at centre forward. Thompson rose unimpeded to deliver a glancing header towards the back post. Ruiz in the Aldershot goal seemed to have it covered - and then just as quickly didn't. A flick off the post did the rest. 1-0 Dale!

Five minutes later the Shot's defence seemed convinced they had found the pea this time. As they congratulated themselves, Thompson romped on to the end of Adams low cross and poked the ball through the flailing arms of Ruiz. 2-0 Dale!

A further ten minutes and the Aldershot defence realised they had guessed wrong again. Wiseman burst down the right wing, releasing Adams, who delivered a superb cross onto the head of the prowling Thompson at the near post. 3-0 Dale!

A blistering 17 minute hat-trick - but what came next was even more extraordinary. Driving forward with the ball, Thompson found himself disposessed by an Aldershot player. He turned on his heel chased after his man, cooly won the ball back, turned, and pressed on towards the Aldershot goal. I think I'll have that pie now.

The Shot's had all but collapsed by this stage. Teased, terrorized, tormented. The only thing on their mind was getting to half time without further disaster. Ciaran Toner had other ideas. As referee Penton checked his watch, Toner's 25 yard thunderbolt almost took the back out of the net . 4-0 Dale!

Half time was wiled away responding to ecstatic texts. Mr. Aasan from far away Norway, recommended that Joe Thompson should run for Prime Minister. Mr. Keane's comments were brief, but eloqent in thier economy. 'OMG!'.

In other news, the mighty Littleborough Yellow's overcame Seedfield Boys 4-2 to move second in the table. A performance our man on the spot, Mr. Keane, hailed as the best of the season.

In a repeat of the fixture up at Spotland, Aldershot brought on Marvin Morgan for the start of the second half. In the reverse fixture, Morgan had almost turned the tie in favour of the Shot's - but they say lightning never strikes twice - be wary of 'they' - they don't know what they are talking about.

Rochdale began very much as they had left off in the first half. Chances to further extend the already impressive lead came, Dagnall probably going closest with an effort a whisker outside the post.

It was somewhere around this time that I committed the ultimate commentators sin - I said - 'Rochdale are in absolutely no danger here...'

On 75 minutes a long diagonal ball forward found Sandell on the Shot's right. A powerful low cross to the near post found Morgan who poked the ball home. 4-1.

Five minutes later a bit of rough and tumble between Stanton and Morgan saw Morgan on the floor, Stanton heading for the dressing room following a straight red card and Mr. Penton pointing to the spot. All quite proper but for a couple of inconvenient facts:

- Stanton wasn't the last man.

- Morgan wasn't in the penalty area.

Davies stepped up and converted the spot kick. 4-2.

A nervy ten minutes followed, spiced up by another huge penalty shout for a foul against - yes you guessed it - Marvin Morgan. However, this time Mr. Penton waved away the appeals. In spite of a whirlwind of Aldershot pressure no further break through came. 4-2 it ended.

Now here is where I usually stop. But, today I was with the press gang. As the Rochdale fans made their way back to coaches and cars and the Aldershot fans were 'fixin to go a fussin an a fuedin' down on the bayou - I found myself standing on the pitch at the end of the players tunnel with real journalists.

In a moment I was surrounded by the Dale squad - going through their warm down - Gary Jones was stood three feet away, trading quips with the press. Mr. Hill duly made an appearance and calmly answered the questions of the jounalists - heaping praise on Joe Thompson.

...And then Joe Thompson emerged from the tunnel. The waiting press surrounded him. I'll be honest, I was a bit surprised. Rochdale's hat-trick hero is not much more than a boy. Fresh faced, polite, shy - he modestly answered the questions from the journalists, giggling at some of the more outrageous plaudits. A genuinely nice young lad without any hint of the arrogance usually associated with young footballers.

As he retreated to the dressing room I patted him on the shoulder and said, 'well played Joe'. He said, 'Thanks'.

Summary:

In his post match comments Mr. Hill described the first half as 'total football'. I can't disagree. At times during the first half, Dale were utterly breathtaking.

The second half was a far more even affair with Aldershot giving every bit as good as they got. Their first goal was very well worked - although the penalty was a little fortunate.

Adams had his best game so far in the black and blue, Toner also had a great game - aside of the goal - his all round contribution to the game was excellent - a perfect partner for Jones.

However, the star of the show was that nice young boy, Joe Thompson. One game doesn't make a career - but his performance today showed that he has more in him than I had given him credit for. Today was all about a boy.

Turner Watch:

Settling into the Oval office quite nicely, although the neighbours have complained about the noise. Status Quo clearly isn't to everybody's taste.

31/1/09

F.A.B.

Rochdale AFC 3 - 1 Aldershot Town FC

Journey:

All-in-One garden centre, Marks and Spencer, Clarks, Tesco, MacDonalds, Johnson's dry cleaners.

Saturday mornings...

It really is a good thing that I have Saturday afternoon's to look forward to.

The general excitement levels did however spike when I got a call from Mr. Keane. Apparently the HMS Zafira had run out of electricty and was sulking on his driveway. A rescue mission! Regrettably my I-Pod doesn't run to the theme tune from Thunderbirds - so I had to settle for humming it as I swept towards Littleborough.

With Mr. Keane in the shotgun position and England's future No. 1 in the back we set course for Spotland.

Weather:

As I flitted from chain store to chain store this morning it was impossible to ignore the rain. It bucketed it down.

Weather like this provokes one thought in the mind of any Dale fan: will the game be postponed? Down the years the Spotland playing surface has been notable by it's vicious duplicity. More than two consecutive hours of rain in any given week has the hearts of the Spotland faithful firmly in their mouthes.

Don't belive me? take a drive around Rochdale early on a wet Saturday morning and look for men walking their dog's. The one's performing tentative shuttle's on the grass verges are the Dale fans.

Food:

Gloves. Gloves are key at this time of year. With the wintery chill drawing in a man may feel the need for a hot drink during his two hour vigil on a Saturday afternoon. As the Sandy Lane Patisserie persists in using the outflow from Sellafield to produce hot drinks - a little extra insulation is recommended.

I regarded with knowing despair a youth attempt to courier two coffee's back to his vantage point - only for him to discover that his palms were in the process of melting. The fountain of hot coffee generated when he realised he was unequal to the challenge was quite spectacular. He to will learn. Gloves. Gloves are key at this time of year.

Away Support:

Maybe 200. Credit is due to the hardier souls of Hampshire whom had braved the elements to be here today.

Action:

After Tuesday nights swashbuckling exploits today would be a tough test. Expectation levels were stratospheric. I mean, c'mon - SIX! I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have seen Dale run in six goals.

Therefore it was something of a suprise when we heard that Mr. Hill would once again make changes. Buckley dropped to the bench. Thompson moved to the right and Rundle returned to the left.

In the opening minutes the Shots sought to impress themselves on the game - they played some nice, tidy stuff - although with little overt threat. Dale slowly gathered themselves and retaliated in kind. Neat passing forged a selection of decent chances which pressed Aldershot back into their own half of the field.

On 27 minutes the Dale pressure payed off when the ball dropped to Rundle on the edge of the area. A slashing drive assisted by a fairly exotic deflection defeated Bull in the Shot's goal. 1-0 Dale.

With their noses in front Dale went on to pummel the Aldershot defence without serious reply for the balance of the half. Worryingly in the context of recent weeks a second goal did not come and the half finished with out further incident for the scorer.

Half time would see Spotland pioneer a new game. 'Gates of Hell'. Satan himself took station between the sticks to defend against penalties from the general public. I'll be honest - I thought the leathery wings and tail would be an inhibitor - but, what do I know? In net, Satan was - well - a demon. Truly amazing. Even the bit where he accidentaly torched the ball boy.

All in my mind...

I have started making up my own half time games to amuse myself. It is going to be a long season isn't it?

In reality a bloke called Charlie attempted the cross bar challenge. Narowly missing with both efforts. As Charlie retreated to the stands an impish Will Buckley stepped up and casually crashed the ball against the bar on the way to retrieving an errant ball from his warm-up.

The second half. Building on their first half dominance Dale continued to roll forward. Dagnall having two clear chances to extend Rochdale's advantage. One smashed against the upright the other achieving geo-synchronous orbit from less than six yards out.

It seemed scarcely relevant at the time - but the Shot's made two substitutions on 56. Including Marvin Morgan for Chalmers. As I say, scarcely relevant.

The introduction of Morgan provoked a change in approach from Aldershot. The admitedly tidy passing game demonstrated to this point was dumped in favour of a more direct approach. At well north of six feet, Morgan was about to profit richly.

Just ten minutes later an Aldershot cross provided Morgan the chance to work his magic. A half clearance from Russell left Morgan the task of heading home from close range. 1-1.

For the second time today I found myself humming the theme from Thunderbirds. Calling International Rescue!

The next ten minutes were truly torrid. Having been totally on top, Dale found themselves totally under the cosh. Aldershot pressed forward again and again - it seemed that perhaps the best Dale could hope for was a point.

Enter St. Adam.

Joining on 76 minutes it took him just five more to tie the Shots in knots and release Jones whose rebounding shot was tucked away by Thompson. 2-1.

Aldershot however were not about to accept defeat. Moments later, they had the ball in the net - 2-2? - no - thankfully for Rochdale the linesman had indicated off-side.

After an extended delay for Stanton to receive treatment for a head wound - resulting in him being subbed for Holness - Buckley burst into the Shot's box and produced a cheeky 'dinked' finish from a super-acute angle to seal the deal. 3-1.

Summary:

For those who read the score after the fact it would appear to have been a comprehensive victory. For those of us who were there it was a far nervier affair.

Aldershot were no mugs and having weathered the initial onslaught proved to have a few tricks of their own. That said, in spite of ten minutes where the result was very much in the balance, Dale rallied magnificently and finished the job they had begun in the first half.

Let's be honest, Thunderbirds wouldn't have been half the show it was if everything had gone perfectly to plan. Well would it?

Back to back wins and nine goals in two games. F.A.B.

Turner Watch:

Indisposed following the Friday night gathering of the Littleborough Debating and Choral Society.

25/10/08