Test Match Special

Rola-Cola Sponsored English League 2

Rochdale AFC 2 - 1 Torquay United FC

Journey

Morecambe. Dale 3-0 down at half time - and then the come back of all comebacks. Goals from Dagnall, Thompson & Stevens retrieved a very unlikely point for Dale. Where was I - you might well ask? Jumping up and down behind the goal at Christie Park? No. I was fast asleep on a train heading north from 'that' London. I missed the whole thing. It always seems to be the way that the ones you miss are the best ones.

To this day Mr. Keane amuses himself by reminding me of the day I decided not to go to Halifax - the day Jason Peake scored 'that' goal. The only mercy was that Mr. Keane hadn't gone to Morecambe - otherwise that would have been another arrow in his quiver.

So having seen no football for a week - the solution was simple. This weekend I would 'over football'.

Friday night. Accrington. I should probably explain...

Accrington are in trouble. Big trouble. An unpaid tax bill of £300k hangs over our East Lancashire neighbours like the proverbial sword of Damocles. However, unlike some of the more unscrupulous residents of the Football League who would be planning a quick trip through the administration laundromat - Accrington are actually trying to raise the money. What a strange idea - actually paying off your creditors - revolutionary.

So with Mr. Keane and Princess Keane, along with Mrs. Eden-Maughan and a new addition for the 09/10 season: Ms. Croney. we made the trip over the hill to watch Stanley take on Darlo. The game ended 2-1 to Stanley. It was a good entertaining game, Stanley probably should have won by a couple more - but a win is a win.

What was amazing was the crowd. Naturally, there was loads of Accrington - although only about 100 Darlo - but there were Burnley, Bury, Blackburn and Dale fans - I saw a couple of Morecambe fans, there were Blackpool fans, just behind us were a knot of Tranmere fans and I heard a couple of London accents in the pie queue. The crowd was 3200 - about double the normal home gate. Not quite the required £300k - but a decent start. I really hope Accy find the rest of the cash - and judging from tonight, I'm not alone.

I nearly went along to watch the Mighty Yellows first game of the season at Harehill Park this morning - but I had other commitments. As Mr. Culshaw had bunked off to sun himself in t'Portugal - I would be leading the line on Roche Valley Radio's live match commentary today. Which meant I had to prepare pre-match comments for the very first time. After two and a half hours of trawling the web for stats about the teams I was left wondering: how on earth did commentators do this before t'interweb? Was there a book or something? Did people just remember that Rochdale's first meeting with Torquay was 4th September 1959 (which ended one apiece)? After some trial and error a side of A4 was duly typed up and printed out - and I was left slightly in awe of my commentating forefathers.

At 13:45 Mr. Keane arrived hot foot from Harehill Park with news of a convincing 5-2 win for the Yellows - and bore me and the radio gubbins up to Spotland. By his standards Mr. Keane was somewhat subdued this afternoon - and there was a reason. Mr. Culshaw's absence meant that there would be a spare seat in the commentary box - and after some arm twisting on Friday night - Mr. Keane had agreed to fill it.

With me leading the commentary for the very first time and Mr. Keane making his radio debut - what could possibly go wrong...

Weather

Today's guests had rather thoughtfully brought us a taste of the south coast sunshine today. Clear blue skies and warm sunshine - 'kiss me quick' hat optional.

Food

None. Two things stood in my way:

A) I had to assemble the broadcasting equipment for the first time. Mr. Keane did his best to help - but it all went a bit Chuckle Brothers. To me - to you!

B) The arrival of the team sheet meant that a good chunk of my morning's labours had to be hastily rewritten in Biro. Something familiar to commentators of all era's I guess.

Away Support

They may have brought the sunshine - but it clearly meant that there wasn't much room for fans. 100 - if that.

News

Flu. Jones and then O'Grady succumbed but were fully recovered for today - Holness was not so lucky though. His attack of the lurgy would keep him out of today's game - meaning he probably spent the day on the sofa watching Sky Sports while his girlfriend explained to him that it was 'just a bit of a sniffle'.

Le Fondre nominated for player of the month. Yeah - really annoying isn't it.

Action

Your team for today:

GK: Arthur

Def: Wiseman, Stanton, Dawson, Kennedy(T)

Mid: Thompson, Kennedy(J), Jones, Buckley

For: Dagnall, O'Grady

Bench: Edwards, Brown, Flynn, Rundle, Stevens, Spencer, Higginbotham

With the sun beating down on Spotland, Dale started the game with a sparkle that matched the weather. Torquay looked flat footed and totally unprepared for the speed and precision of Dale's play. For twenty minutes Dale ran riot - Buckley in particular having a field day at the expense of the Gulls ponderous right back, Nicholson. Dagnall and O'Grady for their part were almost unplayable. However, as has been the way this season, for all the pretty football - Dale had not made it count. A bad habit which can have nasty consequences.

Just as the Spotland faithful began to shift uncomfortably in their seats it seemed that their worst fears had been realised. In spite of being little better than spectators in the game so far - Torquay had the ball in the Rochdale goal - courtesy of Benyon. A stunned hush spread around Spotland and I made a noise akin to death rattle into the microphone. Then I heard the best three words in the world come through my headset - 'he's off side' quipped Mr. Keane - pointing to the linesman's outstretched waving stick. A huge let off.

Dale very quickly got their act together. Kennedy (J) produced a decent effort from close range - anything less than 30 yards is close for our Jason - but it flew wide. However, minutes later Rochdale were in the lead.

It began innocuously enough. The tireless Dagnall challenged for the ball on the right - on balance he probably shouldn't have won the ball - but the Torquay man folded under the pressure of Dagnall's hectoring and Daggers was away. A cross-field ball found Kennedy (J) who deftly picked out Buckley on the Dale left. Buckley sliced through two bamboozled Gulls defenders and drilled a low cross in the area where Dagnall reappeared to apply the finish. 1-0 Dale!

Dale continued to roll forward, Torquay continued to look stunned - their lethargic back four only really looked happy when they were making their way to the safety of the dressing room at half time.

In the interval Mr. Keane and I had time to reflect on our performance so far. In a change to the normal format, we weren't doing continuous commentary today - we were doing 10-15 minute stints and then handing over to Messers Pickup and Gaffney who were covering the Bury/Cheltenham game at Gigg Lane. The team at Bury were very professional - they knew all of the players names and spent quite a lot of time analysing the particulars of the game. Mr. Keane and I were mostly having a nice chat which from time to time referenced the fact that a football match was going on. Improvement required - we felt.

The second half got going and the Gulls made a string of quick substitutions - most notably the arrival of Hargreaves for Benyon around the hour mark. Hargreaves' arrival sparked a bit more drive from Torquay and they enjoyed a ten minutes spell where they generated a few chances. However, the Dale defence had the measure and more than the measure of the Torquay attacks - as each thrust was parried, Dale countered ferociously.

However, It was still just 1-0. Comfortable but by no means assured. A tired looking Will Buckley made way for Adam Rundle on 73 and just three minutes later Dale scored again.

A goal kick from Arthur, flicked on by O'Grady found Dagnall. Stand-in centre back Hargreaves tried vainly to intervene but found himself turned inside-out by Dagnall who raced onward and poked the ball past Torquay's on-loan keeper, Poke. 2-0 Dale!

So, all done then? Mmm - not quite. Just as normal time was running out Torquay drove forward. Some sketchy Dale defending saw the ball pinging around in the area before it fell to Hargreaves who cracked the ball into the roof of the net. 2-1.

A few nervy moments followed as Torquay sought an unlikely equaliser. However, their best effort cleared the bar, the Sandy, the tree's behind the Sandy, Sandy Lane, Greave and was subsequently shot down by the RAF as a potential hostile.

2-1 it stayed.

Speak your brains

Your cast for today: Myself and Mr. Keane.

• Dagnall was immense - no pun intended - oh, go on then.
• Buckley Is Back! Quiet in the second half, but irrepressible in the first.
• 
  
  O'Grady needs a goal to really make a mark - but excellent all game.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Alfie has gone - Dale have no money - but they're still playing great football. Despite the late goal for Torquay, today was a cracking performance.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Did anyone else clock the wig on the Torquay physio? Roy Orbison really isn't dead.
  
  
  
• 
  
  As we were wrapping up, news came in that Cheltenham had scored against Bury in the 94th minute. Naturally, we were very professional about it.
  
  
  

OK - commentary. Mr. Keane was delighted with his first run out - he did a great job considering he was dropped in at such late notice. On reflection, we were probably not in the same league as the chaps at Bury who had clearly had loads of practice and will probably go on to make a career of it - we were a bit more Test Match Special than Match Of The Day. Two grumpy old fella's passing the time of day while a sporting event went on in the background - if only we had received a nice fruit cake from Mrs. Enderby of Barnstaple.